Thursday, September 8, 2011

still we wait...

We got the call this morning, that yet again, Bedilu's paperwork was NOT submitted to Embassy. 

It's been 47 days since we've held them. and 5 weeks since they've been legally ours. What kind of mother leaves her kids on the other side of the world for 5 weeks???! and of course this doesn't even take into account the amount of time they waited before we were matched with them.

Waiting another week, may not seem like a big deal, but our journey is not done until Embassy clears us. We're not sure how long this will take.  I'm feeling weary... feeling that old spirit of fear creep in.                  

Obviously, God is bigger than all of these set backs. He can allow Embassy to pass us immediately without any further delays. I'm just not so sure that He WILL choose to do that. My faith is feeling very slight today. I'm trying to figure out what He's trying to teach me right now. I DON'T want to be like the Israelites wandering around for 40 years.

My heart is breaking for 2 kids that are legally OURS, yet we can't get them into the US yet. How can I possibly leave them over there? And, how can I go to to them for an undetermined amount of time, have them in my custody, all while leaving my other 4 kids here. We find ourselves in such a quagmire... and my heart aches.

These are my kids. Okay, they're not really MINE, they're HIS, but He's entrusting us with their care. Would I do any less for my biological children? I love them just as much as I love our other kiddos. I've held them. I've kissed their sweet cheeks and giggled with them. I've read stories and colored with them. I've kissed away their tears. My heart is breaking. Yet, how can I forget the miracles that God has already done?

God made a way when we were told it would be a long wait... and we received our court date call only 4 weeks after our referral. We were floored. and thrilled. We went to court. We met our kids. We passed court only 12 business days after our court date. That was another miracle. We passed on the last day of court being open before they shut down for 6 weeks due to their rainy season. This was HUGE.

Some of our friends were caught in a different situation. They were stuck in the court closures, and I can only imagine the pain that their hearts must be bearing during this time.

I think... no, I know, that when I heard the news this morning, it felt so final. I realize that I can't put my hope in man. God is soo much bigger than what they may forecast.

Please pray for wisdom for Jeff and I as we continue on this journey. I've come to realize it's never really over, as the real work begins once we bring them home. I'm just trying to sort through this barrage of emotions going on in my head and in my heart.

Jeff sent me this video today at one of my weakest moments. My kids gathered around me and prayed with me, cried with me. and then preceded to make me laugh.

One thing I know for sure. God is always faithful. His Word NEVER returns void. He NEVER leaves us. He has ALWAYS been with Bedilu and Meron holding them, protecting them. We will not stop believing... hoping for that day when we will be gathering them up in our arms once again, forever. Thanks for lifting us up in prayer.

disclaimer: this post may not make much sense as I've written it, and rewritten it several times today through tears, a migraine etc. please have grace for my grammar/ sentence structure. I don't really care to fix it tonight;) Although, I AM starting to feel a bit more at peace... God IS faithful.


  1. From the moment I read your post on Facebook, this scripture has been running through my head. "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11 I know God has a plan for you AND Bedilu AND Meron! You're in my prayers daily!!

  2. aaahhh...aching for you. Praying for that miracle Katie! Trusting in His goodness along with you, friend!

  3. Love you my friend and we are partners in prayer. We weep and laugh with you. Your heartfelt journaling of how God IS working in your life, in the lives of your family helps others grow in their faith in our most wonderful, awesome God. He does LOVE you - He does LOVE all of your children and He DOES have a plan!

  4. OH, NO!!!! I am just now learning of this news! Katie, I. am. sooooo. sorry!!! Extended waiting sucks. No way around it. It is just yucky. Then, in our humanness, we try so hard to make it make sense. And it doesn't. At least not in our limited human understanding. This is where you allow others to pray that God breathes strength into you to help you endure another week of waiting. This is where you stand firm in knowing what you know.......that God IS good.....even when His plan seems to stink. This is where you cling tightly to every thing you know God to be.......and ask Him to help you trust in Him and His divine plan. Know that I will continue to pray for His coverage over your children, as well as over your momma and daddy hearts.....and even those sweet sibling hearts! May it be very very SOON that you have all of your children under one roof. In your arms. H-O-M-E!!!!!!! P.S.....this very song is the one that God used during our worship at church to remind me just how very very MUCH He loves our son, Baby K......and me!!!! LOVE this youtube version of the song! I just sat here and basked in His love again, listening to it! Cling to that Promise of Love, dear friend!!!!