I had the perfect nap yesterday. After getting up every day this week at 5:30am, I decided yesterday afternoon that when I laid the "littles" down for their nap, I was going to take a trip to Mr. Sandman myself. I only usually have a 1 hour window to myself everyday. Let me be honest and say that "by myself" isn't really by myself. Realize I have 3 "bigs" who usually have 1,000 questions during this 1 hour window. But today after giving them detailed instructions on what schoolwork they should be working on during said hour, I set off to putting the littles to bed.
routine (as of late) is that I lay on the floor in the boys room until
they are asleep. That way I'm guaranteed that they actually ARE napping.
So, today like most days, I fell asleep on their floor. Let's just say
it's NOT comfortable laying face down on the floor for more than like 2
minutes. I'm not sure if it has to do with all of the running I'm doing
right now (training for a half marathon) or what, but it hurts my left
foot. Now, I'm not complaining... just sharing.
every other day, after about 10 minutes, my foot goes numb, and I wake
up. The boys were asleep. YES! I tiptoe out of their room stealth-like.
Because after being a mom for 13.5 years, I've mastered this skill. If
you need tips, please inquire. Anyway, I sneak into my room, as I don't
hear any loud noises coming from the main floor, which means MAYBE the
bigs are obeying me, and actually doing their schoolwork.
In order for me to get a good nap though, I must turn on the
bathroom fan in my room (to drown out the bigs giggling/mild fighting)
AND put a very large pillow over my head. Yes, I realize this is a bit
strange. Just work with me.
I got all toasty warm under my down comforter, on my flannel
sheets. ahhh... did I mention I also have on a wool sweater yesterday? I
like to be warm, can you tell?.... and off I drift to dream land. Maybe
20 minutes later, just when I reach REM sleep, I felt the pillow
covering my head and face being lifted I looked up to see... Claire.
"What's going on?", I asked. "Is the house on fire?" "Are the littles
waking up?" um. no. She decided that WHILE I was sleeping, in my room,
with the door almost closed, fan on, pillow on my head, it would be a
good time to ask if she could have a stick up gum. REALLY? Okay. So I
was calm and said, "sure". As soon as my eyes closed, the pillow was
moved again. Now she was asking if she could have 2 pieces. SERIOUSLY?
About 10 minutes later the placement of the pillow was once again
adjusted. and I wasn't happy about it. This time it was Jonah asking
for gum. Not one piece but two. To which I said, "Really Jonah? Do you
REALLY think this is a good time to wake me?? I mean, did I not send out
enough signals with all of the extensive measures that I took to get
this much. needed. nap?" His response, "sorry Mom. Can I still have that
stick of gum?"
About 30 minutes later, I heard LOTS of drums a drumming. It
seemed to be right outside my door. Knowing that the 3 littles were
still asleep, I thought I'd better put a stop to this crazy behavior. I
kindly yell from the top of the steps, "WHAT is going on down there??"
Our oldest said, "it's the other bigs... I'll tell them to stop." Yet,
the drumming kept going. So I came down, and again kindly yell at the
top of the basement steps, " WHAT are you doing down there??? To which
they both responded. Oh. sorry. were you still sleeping? ha. I guess not
This above example is just one of many
funny, yet not so funny in the moment, situations that I have the
privilege of experiencing day in and day out.
I find myself more.than.ever. pressing into Jesus... chanting, "Your grace is sufficient. Your grace is sufficient".
life is a happy chaos right now, and I am trying to find the balance of
keeping everything/everybody on task and yet being able to drop
everything and enjoy the moment.
Then I'm reminded... why I do, what I do.
Today the kids and I were in the car together, and we started
talking about Israel and the need to pray for her protection. I
explained how since the beginning of time, God's chosen people have been
under severe persecution. So as I prayed, I also felt the burden to
pray for children all over the world who don't have a mommy and daddy.
Those kids that are without a warm bed, food, clothing, safety. Those
that are cruely sold into the sex trade/slave trade... and my heart was
burdened for them. Once again, the Lord brought back to my mind the
beauty of adoption and the fact that He chose to use Jeff and I to open
our hearts to two orphans. At that moment, with tears in my eyes, I
looked in the rear view mirror and saw them sitting in their car seats,
along with the rest of my kids... smiling, singing, whining, joking,
yelling and I felt blessed. beyond measure.
This journey has been anything but easy. It's been challenging at
times but there have been moments, sweet-sweet moments that I wouldn't
trade for ANYTHING.
I've seen such amazing signs of attachment from both B and M, that it's something only God could ordain. And it's beautiful.
So even though we've got the leftover lasagna falling off the
plate all over the floor... 3 littles running around as I chase them
through the house with diapers and clothes...pencil markings all over
the walls from their "creative" artwork... and big brothers Lego sets
being destroyed (as 2 of the littles climbed up on the shelf to retrieve
them), there are moments like tonight when I was reading a sweet book
to the 3 littles and they all piled on my lap. And holding each one in
my lap separately to sing a sweet lullaby, complete with kisses and
snuggles right before bed. There have been sweet moments that I've
experienced with the bigs, like tonight: giggling over a card game, as I
beat their pants off! (I'm not competitive or anything).
These are the moments that I feel are straight from heaven... to
remind me of what's important. Why adoption really matters. What storing
up treasures in heaven really looks like here on earth.
So tomorrow when the laundry is once again piled up, and the
dishes are caked with dry lasagna, the toilets need cleaning and the
kitchen floor has so much food on it, it could feed a small child, I'll
remember these special moments. And try to enjoy each one... and maybe,
just maybe I'll get that "perfect nap" like I had yesterday.... but this
time, I'll do a better job, in the moment, of enjoying the awesome
kids that God has blessed us with.
Galatians 6: 9-10 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.