my four words

2012-02-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

I had the perfect nap yesterday. After getting up every day this week at 5:30am, I decided yesterday afternoon that when I laid the "littles" down for their nap, I was going to take a trip to Mr. Sandman myself. I only usually have a 1 hour window to myself everyday. Let me be honest and say that "by myself" isn't really by myself. Realize I have 3 "bigs" who usually have 1,000 questions during this 1 hour window. But today after giving them detailed instructions on what schoolwork they should be working on during said hour, I set off to putting the littles to bed.

Our routine (as of late) is that I lay on the floor in the boys room until they are asleep. That way I'm guaranteed that they actually ARE napping. So, today like most days, I fell asleep on their floor. Let's just say it's NOT comfortable laying face down on the floor for more than like 2 minutes. I'm not sure if it has to do with all of the running I'm doing right now (training for a half marathon) or what, but it hurts my left foot. Now, I'm not complaining... just sharing.

So, like every other day, after about 10 minutes, my foot goes numb, and I wake up. The boys were asleep. YES! I tiptoe out of their room stealth-like. Because after being a mom for 13.5 years, I've mastered this skill. If you need tips, please inquire. Anyway, I sneak into my room, as I don't hear any loud noises coming from the main floor, which means MAYBE the bigs are obeying me, and actually doing their schoolwork.

In order for me to get a good nap though, I must turn on the bathroom fan in my room (to drown out the bigs giggling/mild fighting) AND put a very large pillow over my head. Yes, I realize this is a bit strange. Just work with me.

I got all toasty warm under my down comforter, on my flannel sheets. ahhh... did I mention I also have on a wool sweater yesterday? I like to be warm, can you tell?.... and off I drift to dream land. Maybe 20 minutes later, just when I reach REM sleep, I felt the pillow covering my head and face being lifted I looked up to see... Claire. "What's going on?", I asked. "Is the house on fire?" "Are the littles waking up?" um. no. She decided that WHILE I was sleeping, in my room, with the door almost closed, fan on, pillow on my head, it would be a good time to ask if she could have a stick up gum. REALLY? Okay. So I was calm and said, "sure". As soon as my eyes closed, the pillow was moved again. Now she was asking if she could have 2 pieces. SERIOUSLY? NO.

About 10 minutes later the placement of the pillow was once again adjusted. and I wasn't happy about it. This time it was Jonah asking for gum. Not one piece but two. To which I said, "Really Jonah? Do you REALLY think this is a good time to wake me?? I mean, did I not send out enough signals with all of the extensive measures that I took to get this much. needed. nap?" His response, "sorry Mom. Can I still have that stick of gum?"

About 30 minutes later, I heard LOTS of drums a drumming. It seemed to be right outside my door. Knowing that the 3 littles were still asleep, I thought I'd better put a stop to this crazy behavior. I kindly yell from the top of the steps, "WHAT is going on down there??" Our oldest said, "it's the other bigs... I'll tell them to stop." Yet, the drumming kept going. So I came down, and again kindly yell at the top of the basement steps, " WHAT are you doing down there??? To which they both responded. Oh. sorry. were you still sleeping? ha. I guess not anymore, eh?

This above example is just one of many funny, yet not so funny in the moment, situations that I have the privilege of experiencing day in and day out.

I find myself more.than.ever. pressing into Jesus... chanting, "Your grace is sufficient. Your grace is sufficient".

My life is a happy chaos right now, and I am trying to find the balance of keeping everything/everybody on task and yet being able to drop everything and enjoy the moment.

Then I'm reminded... why I do, what I do.

Today the kids and I were in the car together, and we started talking about Israel and the need to pray for her protection. I explained how since the beginning of time, God's chosen people have been under severe persecution. So as I prayed, I also felt the burden to pray for children all over the world who don't have a mommy and daddy. Those kids that are without a warm bed, food, clothing, safety. Those that are cruely sold into the sex trade/slave trade... and my heart was burdened for them. Once again, the Lord brought back to my mind the beauty of adoption and the fact that He chose to use Jeff and I to open our hearts to two orphans. At that moment, with tears in my eyes, I looked in the rear view mirror and saw them sitting in their car seats, along with the rest of my kids... smiling, singing, whining, joking, yelling and I felt blessed. beyond measure.

This journey has been anything but easy. It's been challenging at times but there have been moments, sweet-sweet moments that I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING.

I've seen such amazing signs of attachment from both Bedilu and Meron, that it's something only God could ordain. And it's beautiful.

So even though we've got the leftover lasagna falling off the plate all over the floor... 3 littles running around as I chase them through the house with diapers and clothes...pencil markings all over the walls from their "creative" artwork... and big brothers Lego sets being destroyed (as 2 of the littles climbed up on the shelf to retrieve them), there are moments like tonight when I was reading a sweet book to the 3 littles and they all piled on my lap. And holding each one in my lap separately to sing a sweet lullaby, complete with kisses and snuggles right before bed. There have been sweet moments that I've experienced with the bigs, like tonight: giggling over a card game, as I beat their pants off! (I'm not competitive or anything).

These are the moments that I feel are straight from heaven... to remind me of what's important. Why adoption really matters. What storing up treasures in heaven really looks like here on earth.

So tomorrow when the laundry is once again piled up, and the dishes are caked with dry lasagna, the toilets need cleaning and the kitchen floor has so much food on it, it could feed a small child, I'll remember these special moments. And try to enjoy each one... and maybe, just maybe I'll get that "perfect nap" like I had yesterday.... but this time, I'll do a better job, in the moment, of enjoying the awesome kids that God has blessed us with.

Galatians 6: 9-10 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

2 weeks... and loosing count

2011-11-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe how quickly time is flying now that our sweet Meron and Bedilu are home. They've only been home for 10 days, yet they are fitting into our family beautifully. That's not to say that it's been an easy road, but it HAS been beautiful.

Just to recap a bit... I know that I've shared with a few of you our experience in Ethiopia when we went back to get our kids after Embassy FINALLY cleared us, but have yet to blog about it... so here goes.

We arrived in Ethiopia on Tuesday morning, Nov. 15th. After dropping our luggage and brushing our teeth, we headed over to the Transition Home to see our littles and take them to be with us... forever. Okay, gonna be honest here: I had HIGH expectations. I did. I know that I shouldn't have, but I did. I didn't have any expectations on our first trip, as it was there first time meeting us... and other than a few care pkgs, they really didn't know us. But for THIS trip, my expectations were high... like in the sky-high.

Now, let me explain. They were high because we had sent NUMEROUS care pkgs., videos of us talking to them (thanks Vermes and Marshalls), pictures etc. between July -when we met them- and November when it was time to bring them home. AND, they had clearly bonded to us well when we were there in July. So, I just assumed that when they saw us there, that time would slow down, the music would begin to play, the angels would sing and we would run to each other in slow motion with open arms and tears streaming down our faces. um... okay. so I was a little off base. What can I say, I'm a dreamer.

Well, here's how it REALLY went down. Bedilu was still at the older Transition Home, so he would be coming through the front gate. Meron was getting her pants changed, so she would be coming through the front door on the famous porch (any of you that have adopted through AWAA know that famous porch). How were we supposed to greet both of them coming from 2 different areas??? Did we stand at the gate waiting for Bedilu?? or at the porch waiting for Meron?? and what about pictures. How could we possibly get the best angle and pictures if our back was to Bedilu... or to Meron as they were coming out to us. Yes, I know, pretty ridiculous the things that went through my head. But this was BIG, people. It needed to be captured on film! Don't forget the singing angels!

Thankfully our dear friends, Aaron and Nichole Marshall were there and were kind enough to wait to bring their boy out so that they could take video and pictures of our "gotcha day".

Back to my expectations... the pictures pretty much speak for themselves, but I'll add commentary just in case you need it.

Here we are... waiting... dreaming... expecting those angels to sing.

Meron came out first. There were no singing angels, except in my head... that stopped the minute I heard Meron screaming and running the other direction to avoid me! The only tears were her tears streaming down her face out of sheer panic and fear. Yeah. It actually could've been comical, if I wasn't soo heartbroken. Not comical - the fact that she was terrified, but the fact that I had such grandiose ideas of how it would play out.

Bedilu came in and he seemed happy, yet a bit overwhelmed so he just ran around... then was thrilled to see that we brought him a backpack loaded with treats/toys. He was in heaven.

And still Meron continued to cry. Scream really. The thing is: our agency has an AWESOME group of nannies that cared for our kids. They have an incredible bunch of travel guides (Yonas, Eyob and T) as well as one kick butt driver (Dawitt) that the kids absolutely adored. They know these guys well. They bonded with them and the nannies over the months that they were in their care. It was HARD for them to say goodbye.

Things got better once we left the Transition Home... well, a little better. Meron stopped crying... as long as Jeff was holding her, and I wasn't. Seriously. She was bonding with him, and pretty much punishing me. Again, comical, yet clearly her heart was aching. and although it wasn't about me... it's NEVER been about me, inadvertently it ended up affecting me... I had stored up soo much love for these two precious kiddos, and couldn't wait to draw them in. and well, one in particular was kicking me to the curb.

This was honestly crushing to my heart... and it was such an intense look into Meron's wounded heart. It broke me. I was sad... for her, for me for us. I gave her space... for 2 days.

At the end of the two very long days, Jeff said, "it's time... she needs to know that you're her mom. that you're never leaving." So... I put on the handy dandy sling and slipped her in... for 8 hours I wore her on me.

It was the BEST thing EVER. She started to show signs of at least tolerating me. Then signs of liking me. YES! There was hope!

Jeff just kept reassuring me, "we just need to get home. Once we get home it will be so much better." Well, as usual, he was right. It did get so much better.

Each day gets better and better. I am in love with these two cuties, as much as if I had them naturally... they have grown in my heart over the last several months and they are a beautiful addition to our family.

Our bio kids have been amazing with them... hugging on them, loving them. It's as if they've always been a part of our family.

I am reminded daily of God's faithfulness to us. Through this journey I've seen just a glimpse of what it must look like to our Father when we are grafted into His family. Sometimes we kick and fight Him, yet He holds us through it all... loving us unconditionally. It's a beautiful thing.

I feel honored to be chosen to walk this journey. I'm the one being blessed. Meron and Bedilu are enriching our lives more than we ever could've imagined... and we are changing in ways that are beautiful. I never want to go back to the way things were.

I am happy to say that after only 2 weeks, Meron and Bedilu call me Mommy and Jeff Ababa (daddy).
They let me comfort them when they are hurt and giggle when I snuggle them. I am one blessed mama. They are bonding well. We are making strides... as a family.

I love seeing how adoption is bringing our family closer together. Forever. Psalm 68:6 God sets the lonely in families...

thankfulness

2011-11-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

As we wait to board our plane carrying us from DC to Addis Ababa, my mind is swirling with thoughts of joy, hope, eagerness, excitement... as well as feeling nervous, humbled, scatterbrained and giddy. We would be remiss if we didn't take a moment to thank you, our friends and family, and even complete strangers for all of the various ways that you've been supportive to us over the last 18months, when we began this journey.

I think it has finally started to sink in that we are on our way to get our children!! and bring them home with us. When we first saw the sweet faces of Meron and Bedilu back in May, I had no idea how grand my love for them would be. Of course, I knew that it would grow, but I didn't realize the fierceness to which it would grow. It is just a glimpse of how very much my God must love me. It's incredibly humbling to say the least.

I realize that once we get in country, I will have VERY little time to update as our hands will be full of two little brown eyed beauties, but I DID want to take a quick minute to say THANK YOU!

We began this journey with a seed that was planted in Jeff's heart, lots of enthusiasm, and little funding to make it happen.

Thank you for stepping up to the plate in soo many different ways... words of encouragement, an ear to listen, prayers and more prayers, as well as soo many that have give to us financially to make this happen.

We knew that if this truly was a calling that God had ordained, that He would have to provide... and He did.

Thank you!

We realize that our journey is really just beginning, as we will have our own "after the airport" experience... so PLEASE continue to pray. If you feel led, please call and encourage us. send us a quick note. All of these things mean soo very much to us.

God is soo very faithful! Thank you for being a part of our journey!

a time to fly and a time to bond...

2011-11-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

Hey there friends and family,

Katie and I are really excited with nervous anticipation as we look to bring Bedilu and Meron home. Although it has been heart wrenching at times, we are eager to reach the next chapter of the process, and we are nearly there.

We wanted to share with you a couple of things related to how life will be "after the airport" as they say. It involves something quite important in the adoption process. It is called attachment. We've poured over books, blogs and counseled friends and others on how we should create an environment of attachment for Bedilu and Meron and this is our plan. We are asking that you pray along side us and respect the decision we've made in bonding with them in these early stages.

What is attachment?

Attachment is the process of having adopted children bond to the family unit.

Why attachment?

Attachment is a critical step in the adoption process. Without clear attachment, adopted children especially, are left with an unclear picture of where their security, trust and affection lie. This stage is an important part of ensuring they understand who their parents and siblings are and that we will be there for them...forever.

What is our attachment plan?

TIMELINE: For the first 4-6 weeks, We will not be welcoming any visitors into our home at this time - family or otherwise - and we will not be going out much. Exceptions will be made for doctor appointments we have scheduled for them and/or other important events. This may sound drastic, however, they need to understand that WE are their parents...it can be very confusing to a child who has had different people coming in and out of their lives to understand having many visitors over....even as biological children require a common routine and environment, adopted children need time to understand what their new routine and environment involves to a much greater degree. After this initial phase, we are truly praying that the bonding process will be well established and we can begin the moving back to "normalcy". We are unsure of what that looks like, however, it will most likely involve limited trips out, having friends over for lunch, etc. But we really believe that the more we can have them at home, in familiar surroundings with their parents and siblings the better. We believe this may take anywhere from 3-6 months. Ultimately we will take our cues from them and adjust accordingly.
COMMUNICATION: We are also requesting that if you would like to get in contact with us, that you send email. We will be focusing all of our attention on being with our kids. ALL of them. We also feel it is very important to have Bedilu and Meron attach and bond with Maddie, Jonah, Claire and Lincoln. This will involve creating activities they all can be involved in and interact with one another in a healthy positive way.
VISITORS: As we stated above, we are kindly requesting no visitors for the first 4-6 weeks after our return. Trust us when we say that this will probably more painful for us than for you. However, there are many things that we will be working on that will require our full attention. Language: Bedilu and Meron have very limited English vocabulary. It will be important for us to being the process of educating them on specific words that will help them communicate with us, and us to them. Bonding: We will be the only people that will hug on, play with, and comfort our new family members. This does not mean that you won't ever get to connect with them in this way, but again, it is important that WE are seen as their primary caregivers...their Mom and Dad. We are praying that during the last couple of weeks of this bonding period, we will see great gains and possibly begin to introduce family and friends sooner than we expect.

What does this mean to you?

We have read a lot of material and read lots of stories of families and the attachment of their adopted children. There are often many deep seeded issues that need resolved in the hearts minds and spirits of these precious children. It is our plan to ensure these needs are met and will take the appropriate amount of time to ensure it does. We are simply asking for your understanding and more importantly, your continued prayers.

You all have played a vital role in bringing Bedilu and Meron home, and know that you're support will continue. We are so thankful for our friends and family.

If you are so inclined, we would greatly appreciate meal support upon our return...because you know, jet lag can be awesome. With six children. Please visit the Take Them a Meal website for more information.

God bless!

If you have any questions, let us know. We are more than happy to answer them.

How to be the Village by Jen Hatmaker

2011-11-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

This post is actually written by Jen Hatmaker, who happens to be an incredible writer, storyteller. You can view her blog here.

If you've ever wondered what to say to us through this LONG adoption journey, what to say now, or after we bring our kids home, please read this.

Sometimes being ever-so-slightly in the public eye is rough. With a mouth and discernment problem like mine, you can imagine. I basically offer my life on the altar of criticism daily, then douse the sacrifice with plenty of fuel to make disparagement a lay-up.

For instance, Brandon and I attended a Halloween party last weekend with the theme “Heroes and Super villains.” Our friends came in such costumes as Captain America and the Joker and Kim Possible. They were all very polished and adorable. We came as washed-up, possibly strung out Superman and Supergirl complete with ripped fishnets, smeared makeup, and pistol tattoo drawn with Sharpie. We may or may not have had unlit cigarettes dangling from the corners of our mouths.

These choices are often met with disapproval from the watching masses, as you might well guess. I know you wish I would only dress up as Little Bo Peep or Mary Mother of Jesus, but Brandon and I are very, very silly and immature, and I’ve been trying to tell you people this for some time.

But usually I am grateful for the connection to the greater world, if only through social media and the miracle of emails (plus embarrassing transparency). For example, just a few days ago, I received this email:
Our good friends just returned from Ethiopia last night with their two little boys. Ok, they've had their "airport" moment and we were right there with them. What are some things we can do now to support them in the "real life" journey without overstepping our boundaries? Thank you so much for your transparency and honesty. Everyone can benefit when you share from your heart.

I was so moved by this email. Having benefited from a community that practically smothered us with support throughout our adoption journey, I am so grateful for all the other good friends out there, loving their people and asking how to help. Since reading this email, I’ve been marinating on her question, and I’ve decided to write this Field Guide to Supporting Adoptive Families. (And it will be brief because I will try to remember that this is a blog and not a manuscript and the rules of blogging include succinctness, so that is exactly how I’ll proceed today, except for the exact opposite of all that.)

Let’s break this down into two categories:

Supporting Families Before the Airport

Your friends are adopting. They’re in the middle of dossiers and home studies, and most of them are somewhere in the middle of Waiting Purgatory. Please let me explain something about WP: It sucks in every way. Oh sure, we try to make it sound better than it feels by using phrases like “We’re trusting in God’s plan” and “God is refining me” and “Sovereignty trumps my feelings” and crazy bidness like that. But we are crying and aching and getting angry and going bonkers when you’re not watching. It’s hard. It hurts. It feels like an eternity even though you can see that it is not. It is harder for us to see that, because many of us have pictures on our refrigerators of these beautiful darlings stuck in an orphanage somewhere while we’re bogged down in bureaucracy and delays.

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. “God’s timing is perfect!” (Could also insert: “This is all God’s plan!” “God is in charge!”) As exactly true as this may be, when you say it to a waiting parent, we want to scratch your eyebrows off and make you eat them with a spoon. Any trite answer that minimizes the struggle is as welcomed as a sack of dirty diapers. You are voicing something we probably already believe while not acknowledging that we are hurting and that somewhere a child is going to bed without a mother again. Please never say this again. Thank you.

2. “Are you going to have your own kids?” (Also in this category: “You’ll probably get pregnant the minute your adoption clears!” “Since this is so hard, why don’t you just try to have your own kids?” “Well, at least you have your own kids.”) The subtle message here is: You can always have legitimate biological kids if this thing tanks. It places adoption in the Back-up Plan Category, where it does not belong for us. When we flew to Ethiopia with our first travel group from our agency, out of 8 couples, we were the only parents with biological kids. The other 7 couples chose adoption first. Several of them were on birth control. Adoption counts as real parenting, and if you believe stuff Jesus said, it might even be closer to the heart of God than regular old procreation. (Not to mention the couples that grieved through infertility already. So when you say, “Are you going to have your own kids?” to a woman who tried for eight years, then don’t be surprised if she pulls your beating heart out like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.)

3. For those of you in Christian community, it is extremely frustrating to hear: “Don’t give up on God!” or “Don’t lose faith!” It implies that we are one nanosecond away from tossing our entire belief system in the compost pile because we are acting sad or discouraged. It’s condescending and misses the crux of our emotions. I can assure you, at no point in our story did we think about kicking Jesus to the curb, but we still get to cry tears and feel our feelings, folks. Jesus did. And I’m pretty sure he went to heaven when he died.

4. We’re happy to field your questions about becoming a transracial family or adopting a child of another race, but please don’t use this moment to trot out your bigotry. (Cluelessness is a different thing, and we try to shrug that off. Like when someone asked about our Ethiopian kids, “Will they be black?” Aw, sweet little dum-dum.) The most hurtful thing we heard during our wait was from a black pastor who said, “Whatever you do, don’t change their last name to Hatmaker, because they are NOT Hatmakers. They’ll never be Hatmakers. They are African.” What the??? I wonder if he’d launch the same grenade if we adopted white kids from Russia? If you’d like to know what we’re learning about raising children of another race or ask respectful, legitimate questions, by all means, do so. We care about this and take it seriously, and we realize we will traverse racial landmines with our family. You don’t need to point out that we are adopting black kids and we are, in fact, white. We’ve actually already thought of that.

5. Saying nothing is the opposite bad. I realize with blogs like this one, you can get skittish on how to talk to a crazed adopting Mama without getting under her paper-thin skin or inadvertently offending her. I get it. (We try hard not to act so hypersensitive. Just imagine that we are paper-pregnant with similar hormones surging through our bodies making us cry at Subaru commercials just like the 7-month preggo sitting next to us. And look at all this weight we’ve gained. See?) But acting like we’re not adopting or struggling or waiting or hoping or grieving is not helpful either. If I was pregnant with a baby in my belly, and no one ever asked how I was feeling or how much longer or is his nursery ready or can we plan a shower, I would have to audition new friend candidates immediately.

Here’s what we would love to hear Before the Airport:

1. Just kind, normal words of encouragement. Not the kind that assume we are one breath away from atheism. Not the kind that attempt to minimize the difficulties and tidy it all up with catchphrases. We don’t actually need for you to fix our wait. We just want you to be our friend and acknowledge that the process is hard and you care about us while we’re hurting. That is GOLD. I was once having lunch with my friend Lynde when AWAA called with more bad news about Ben’s case, and I laid my head down on the table in the middle of Galaxy Café and bawled. Having no idea what to do with such a hot mess, she just cried with me. Thank you for being perfect that day, Lynde.

2. Your questions are welcomed! We don’t mind telling you about the court system in Ethiopia or the in-country requirements in Nicaragua or the rules of the foster system. We’re glad to talk about adoption, and we’re thankful you care. I assure you we didn’t enter adoption lightly, so sharing details of this HUGE PIECE OF OUR LIVES is cathartic. Plus, we want you to know more because we’re all secretly hoping you’ll adopt later. (This is not true.) (Yes it is.)

3. When you say you’re praying for us and our waiting children, and you actually really are, not only does that soothe our troubled souls, but according to Scripture, it activates the heavens. So pray on, dear friends. Pray on. That is always the right thing to say. And please actually do it. We need people to stand in the gap for us when we are too tired and discouraged to keep praying the same words another day.

4. If you can, please become telepathic to determine which days we want to talk about adoption and which days we’d rather you just show up on our doorstep with fresh figs from the Farmer’s Market (thanks, Katie) or kidnap us away in the middle of the day to go see Bridesmaids. Sometimes we need you to make us laugh and remember what it feels like to be carefree for a few hours. If you’re not sure which day we’re having, just pre-buy movie tickets and show up with the figs, and when we answer the door, hold them all up and ask, “Would you like to talk for an hour uninterrupted about waiting for a court date?” We’ll respond to whichever one fits.

Supporting Families After the Airport

You went to the airport. The baby came down the escalator to cheers and balloons. The long adoption journey is over and your friends are home with their new baby / toddler / twins / siblings / teenager. Everyone is happy. Maybe Fox News even came out and filmed the big moment and “your friend” babbled like an idiot and didn’t say one constructive word about adoption and also she looked really sweaty during her interview. (Really? That happened to me too. Weird.)

How can you help? By not saying or doing these things:

1. I mean this nicely, but don’t come over for awhile. Most of us are going to hole up in our homes with our little tribe and attempt to create a stable routine without a lot of moving parts. This is not because we hate you; it’s because we are trying to establish the concept of “home” with our newbies, and lots of strangers coming and going makes them super nervous and unsure, especially strangers who are talking crazy language to them and trying to touch their hair.

2. Please do not touch, hug, kiss, or use physical affection with our kids for a few months. We absolutely know your intentions are good, but attachment is super tricky with abandoned kids, and they have had many caregivers, so when multiple adults (including extended family) continue to touch and hold them in their new environment, they become confused about who to bond with. This actually delays healthy attachment egregiously. It also teaches them that any adult or stranger can touch them without their permission, and believe me, many adoptive families are working HARD to undo the damage already done by this position. Thank you so much for respecting these physical boundaries.

3. For the next few months, do not assume the transition is easy. For 95% of us, it so is not. And this isn’t because our family is dysfunctional or our kids are lemons, but because this phase is so very hard on everyone. I can’t tell you how difficult it was to constantly hear: “You must be so happy!” and “Is life just so awesome now that they’re here??” and “Your family seems just perfect now!” I wanted that to be true so deeply, but I had no idea how to tell you that our home was actually a Trauma Center. (I did this in a passive aggressive way by writing this blog, which was more like “An Open Letter to Everyone Who Knows Us and Keeps Asking Us How Happy We Are.”) Starting with the right posture with your friends – this is hard right now – will totally help you become a safe friend to confide in / break down in front of / draw strength from.

4. Do not act shocked if we tell you how hard the early stages are. Do not assume adoption was a mistake. Do not worry we have ruined our lives. Do not talk behind our backs about how terribly we’re doing and how you’re worried that we are suicidal. Do not ask thinly veiled questions implying that we are obviously doing something very, very wrong. Do not say things like, “I was so afraid it was going to be like this” or “Our other friends didn’t seem to have these issues at all.” Just let us struggle. Be our friends in the mess of it. We’ll get better.

5. If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair aaaaaaaall so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.

6. Please do not disappear. If I thought the waiting stage was hard, it does not even hold the barest candle to what comes after the airport. Not. The. Barest. Candle. Never have I felt so isolated and petrified. Never have I been so overwhelmed and exhausted. We need you after the airport way more than we ever needed you before. I know you’re scared of us, what with our dirty hair and wild eyes and mystery children we’re keeping behind closed doors so they don’t freak out more than they already have, but please find ways to stick around. Call. Email. Check in. Post on our Facebook walls. Send us funny cards. Keep this behavior up for longer than six days.

Here’s what we would love to hear or experience After the Airport:

1. Cook for your friends. Put together a meal calendar and recruit every person who even remotely cares about them. We didn’t cook dinners for one solid month, and folks, that may have single handedly saved my sanity. There simply are not words to describe how exhausting and overwhelming those first few weeks are, not to mention the lovely jetlag everyone came home with. And if your friends adopted domestically right up the street, this is all still true, minus the jetlag.

2. If we have them, offer to take our biological kids for an adventure or sleepover. Please believe me: their lives just got WHACKED OUT, and they need a break, but their parents can’t give them one because they are 1.) cleaning up pee and poop all day, 2.) holding screaming children, 3.) spending all their time at doctors’ offices, and 4.) falling asleep in their clothes at 8:15pm. Plus, they are in lockdown mode with the recently adopted, trying to shield them from the trauma that is Walmart.

3. Thank you for getting excited with us over our little victories. I realize it sounds like a very small deal when we tell you our kindergartener is now staying in the same room as the dog, but if you could’ve seen the epic level of freakoutedness this dog caused her for three weeks, you would understand that this is really something. When you encourage us over our incremental progress, it helps. You remind us that we ARE moving forward and these little moments are worth celebrating. If we come to you spazzing out, please remind us where we were a month ago. Force us to acknowledge their gains. Be a cheerleader for the healing process.

4. Come over one night after our kids are asleep and sit with us on our porch. Let me tell you: we are all lonely in those early weeks. We are home, home, home, home, home. Good-bye, date nights. Good-bye, GNO’s. Good-bye, spontaneous anything. Good-bye, church. Good-bye, big public outings. Good-bye, community group. Good-bye, nightlife. So please bring some community to our doorstep. Bring friendship back into our lives. Bring adult conversation and laughter. And bring an expensive bottle of wine.

5. If the shoe fits, tell adopting families how their story is affecting yours. If God has moved in you over the course of our adoption, whether before the airport or after, if you’ve made a change or a decision, if somewhere deep inside a fire was lit, tell us, because it is spiritual water on dry souls. There is nothing more encouraging than finding out God is using our families for greater kingdom work, beautiful things we would never know or see. We gather the holy moments in our hands every day, praying for eyes to see God’s presence, his purposes realized in our story. When you put more holy moments in our hands to meditate on, we are drawn deeper into the Jesus who led us here.

Here’s one last thing: As you watch us struggle and celebrate and cry and flail, we also want you to know that adoption is beautiful, and a thousand times we’ve looked at each other and said, “What if we would’ve said no?” God invited us into something monumental and lovely, and we would’ve missed endless moments of glory had we walked away. We need you during these difficult months of waiting and transitioning, but we also hope you see that we serve a faithful God who heals and actually sets the lonely in families, just like He said He would. And even through the tears and tantrums (ours), we look at our children and marvel that God counted us worthy to raise them. We are humbled. We’ve been gifted with a very holy task, and when you help us rise to the occasion, you have an inheritance in their story; your name will be counted in their legacy.

Because that day you brought us pulled pork tacos was the exact day I needed to skip dinner prep and hold my son on the couch for an hour, talking about Africa and beginning to bind up his emotional wounds. When you kidnapped me for two hours and took me to breakfast, I was at the very, very, absolute end that morning, but I came home renewed, able to greet my children after school with fresh love and patience. When you loved on my big kids and offered them sanctuary for a night, you kept the family rhythm in sync at the end of a hard week.

Thank you for being the village. You are so important.

Adoptive friends, what can you add? What has been helpful or hurtful? How has your community helped you raise your children? What do friends and family need to hear?

game on

2011-10-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

although we've been delayed in bringing our kids home, I realize this is a battle. God speaks very clearly through Paul in Ephesians 6 that we need to be ready for battle. The enemy doesn't like adoption. He doesn't like it when we follow God's plan. He doesn't like the idea of children who are orphaned, entering into a loving home where they will see and feel the love of Jesus.

And let me tell you, the enemy has been doing his best to discourage and beat me up these last few weeks.

But I realized this morning, if I let him do this, I'm letting him win.

I've got way more fight in me than I've been letting on. I mean, I've got the Spirit of the Living God residing in me. Why have I decided to give up? When did THAT happen? Of course, it wasn't a conscious effort. It just happened.

I've been a ball of tears and mush for the last week. It hasn't been good for anyone... My awesome kids... My amazing husband (who puts up with way more than he should)... and for sweet Bedilu and Meron.

I KNOW who wins this battle.

So along with all of the encouraging words from our friends (most of whom are a part of this amazing adoption community that we've never even met in person) and the Word of God, I've decided I'm NOT GIVING UP!

As I read in Ephesians 6 this morning I was reminded... this is spiritual battle of epic proportions.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.

I don't know what God's timing is in getting our kids home. I am not sure why these delays are happening. But I DO know the ONE who holds our children in the palm of His hand.

He is Sovereign. He is Just. He is HOLY.

and He promised us that He wouldn't forget the orphan and the widow. I'm trusting in Him. I'm putting on my full armor to fight off the devil's attacks. With God on my side, I have no one to fear.

I'm ready to fight. This is about being obedient. It's about giving God the glory that He deserves. It's about trusting Him unconditionally with my life and the lives of my family.

He is worth it. My husband and children (all 6 of them) are worth it.

Game on.

worth fighting for...

2011-10-04T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've been pretty quiet lately

and we are still in the waiting process...

but TODAY we got a bunch of new pics of our kids and they brought me to tears.

I thought I'd share them with you.

now you can see who we're fighting for...

Yep... we think they're pretty cute. and we are EAGER more than ever to get. them. home.

We're praying for some really good news from Embassy THIS week. Thanks for joining with us, praying.

the land between

2011-09-22T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my status update on fb was " Today I choose joy". Okay, so that lasted all of about 15 minutes. Seriously. I'm amazed at how little resolve I have.

So as I said, it lasted for a whole 15 minutes, until I got frustrated at the disarray of our home. Now I know that this seems like a silly thing, but what I'm learning more and more about myself, is that when I'm stressed about something (like our adoption, for example), I pretty much freak out about EVERYTHING.

Of course, this doesn't help the whole "joy" theme that I was trying to engage in yesterday morning. All the kids worked with me to clean up pencils, markers, toys, crayons, papers, books, paperclips, more toys, more pencils, erasers, more paper scraps off the floor and the discarded honey nut cheerios that were now covered in ants... (yes, that's just in our school room, I'm not even going to mention the rest of the house), and then I apologized for being a cranky mom... again.

We got back on track with the whole joy thing. I mean it does say in the Bible, in Psalm 98:4 Shout for joy to the lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music;

and also Phillipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

But honestly, lately my theme has been more like Lamentations 5:15 which says, Joy is gone from our hearts; our dancing has turned to mourning.

I decided it was time to pick up the amazing book The Land Between, Finding God in Difficult Transitions by Jeff Manion. This is NOT the first time I've read this. I just forget easily and need to read things again and again.

This is what the summary on the back of the book says, Life is full of unwanted transitions. It is our response to the land between that will determine whether our journey through the desert will result in deep, lasting growth or prove destructive to the soul.

This book is all about the Israelites and their 40 year journey through the wilderness from the land of slavery to the Promised Land. Manion brings to life this amazing story and beautifully retells of Israel's continued cries to the Lord for deliverance, the eventual freedom from slavery including several miracles:

the plagues that rained down on the Egyptians as the Iraelites were spared, including the killing of all of the firstborn, (yet again the Hebrews were spared if they poured the blood of a spotless lamb on their doorpost), the Exodus from Egypt with Moses as their leader, the fire that separated the Hebrews from the angry Egyptian solidiers when they decided they didn't want their slaves to leave after all, the parting of the Red Sea so that all of the Hebrew people were able to cross through (would've LOVED to see that!), then how the Lord closed the Sea on top of the Egyptian solidiers to their demise, the cloud that led them by day, and the pillar of fire that led them by night.

Yet, even with all of these AMAZING miracles, that clearly only the Lord could do, they still were quick to forget His faithfulness to them.

In Exodus 16: 1-3 on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt.2 In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron.3 The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death."

If they only knew that they were only into the second month of a 40 year journey, maybe they wouldn't have started complaining just yet.

As I read this though, I see such similarities in my own life. I'm sooo quick to jump up and down when the Lord comes to my rescue, and oh so quick to forget His faithfulness during the difficult times.

One of the sections early on in the book is labeled: I'm Sick of This! Manion talks about how the Israelites complained about EVERYTHING... they begged God for deliverance, so He delivered them. They begged for food and water, so He blessed them with Manna and water from the rock. Yet, they soon began to complain about the food in which He provided. They didn't like it. The complained and grumbled and were just plain ridiculous.

Manion says, "We may think that nothing grows in the desert. But make no mistake: the Land Between is fertile ground for complaint." He goes on to say that," God takes complaining very seriously, that complaining is really a rejection of God himself." In essence, The Hebrews got to a point where they were saying, "we would've been better off in Egypt. We were better off without you, God".

Now when I first saw this I was soo critical of the Hebrews thinking, "how dare you complain. God SAVED you from a life of misery. He's doing miracles before your very eyes, etc."

But oh so quickly, the Lord whispered in my ear, "Oh Katie, aren't you doing the same thing in regards to your adoption of Bedilu and Meron? I've blessed you over and over... providing every cent needed for this journey, blessing you with these 2 precious children, providing a court date soo much sooner than anticipated, protected you on your journey to Ethiopia, blessed your time with them, allowed you to pass court when no one said it would happen before the courts closed for the rainy season, and on and on and on"

So quickly I forget His faithfulness.

This is His deal, not mine. He led us to this crazy journey, why do I doubt that He'll finish this amazing story in our lives. He promised that He'd never leave us, or forsake us. Why do I doubt this.

So often I feel like Peter, only able to walk on the water for but a moment before I'm looking down... doubting.

I want an unwavering faith. I want to believe with my whole heart that none of these paperwork set backs take Him by surprise. But just like exercising a new muscle, it takes time and lots of practice.

Manion says that as we walk through the Land Between, our souls are very vunerable. This journey may provide our greatest opportunity for transformational growth, but it also provides an enormous opportunity for bitter resentments to flourish - for faith to shrivel.

Of course, I surely don't want that to happen, lest God decide that I need to be in the desert for 40 years. I'm finding that the best way to avoid my faith from shriveling is to keep God's faithfulness at the forefront of my mind. Posting our prayer requests and the dates that they were answered on our refrigerator. Singing praise songs to Him. Reading His love letter to us, His Word. And also "Shouting for Joy to the Lord, all the earth".

So, if you see me getting bogged down by the delays in Embassy, please call me to account, remind me of His faithfulness and just flat out tell me to stop complaining. Hopefully I'll be wise and take it as helpful instruction in my life. (haha)

Even though this has been a painful road at times, I am so very thankful to be on this journey. My relationship with Jesus is growing in ways I never thought possible. I am excited to see this amazing tapestry that He is creating before our very eyes.

I appreciate each and every one of you who have sent me encouraging emails through this season. Adoption can be messy. It's not always a walk in the park and I'm soo very thankful for those of you who have stood by our side, both encouraging us and lifting Jeff and I, and all of our 6 kids up in prayer.

I will continue seeking the Lord and learning all that He is trying to teach us on this road to our kids.

My hope is found In Christ Alone.

http://youtu.be/LRHv9QPBdXQ

still we wait...

2011-09-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

We got the call this morning, that yet again, Bedilu's paperwork was NOT submitted to Embassy.

It's been 47 days since we've held them. and 5 weeks since they've been legally ours. What kind of mother leaves her kids on the other side of the world for 5 weeks???! and of course this doesn't even take into account the amount of time they waited before we were matched with them.

Waiting another week, may not seem like a big deal, but our journey is not done until Embassy clears us. We're not sure how long this will take. I'm feeling weary... feeling that old spirit of fear creep in.

Obviously, God is bigger than all of these set backs. He can allow Embassy to pass us immediately without any further delays. I'm just not so sure that He WILL choose to do that. My faith is feeling very slight today. I'm trying to figure out what He's trying to teach me right now. I DON'T want to be like the Israelites wandering around for 40 years.

My heart is breaking for 2 kids that are legally OURS, yet we can't get them into the US yet. How can I possibly leave them over there? And, how can I go to to them for an undetermined amount of time, have them in my custody, all while leaving my other 4 kids here. We find ourselves in such a quagmire... and my heart aches.

These are my kids. Okay, they're not really MINE, they're HIS, but He's entrusting us with their care. Would I do any less for my biological children? I love them just as much as I love our other kiddos. I've held them. I've kissed their sweet cheeks and giggled with them. I've read stories and colored with them. I've kissed away their tears. My heart is breaking. Yet, how can I forget the miracles that God has already done?

God made a way when we were told it would be a long wait... and we received our court date call only 4 weeks after our referral. We were floored. and thrilled. We went to court. We met our kids. We passed court only 12 business days after our court date. That was another miracle. We passed on the last day of court being open before they shut down for 6 weeks due to their rainy season. This was HUGE.

Some of our friends were caught in a different situation. They were stuck in the court closures, and I can only imagine the pain that their hearts must be bearing during this time.

I think... no, I know, that when I heard the news this morning, it felt so final. I realize that I can't put my hope in man. God is soo much bigger than what they may forecast.

Please pray for wisdom for Jeff and I as we continue on this journey. I've come to realize it's never really over, as the real work begins once we bring them home. I'm just trying to sort through this barrage of emotions going on in my head and in my heart.

Jeff sent me this video today at one of my weakest moments. My kids gathered around me and prayed with me, cried with me. and then preceded to make me laugh.

One thing I know for sure. God is always faithful. His Word NEVER returns void. He NEVER leaves us. He has ALWAYS been with Bedilu and Meron holding them, protecting them. We will not stop believing... hoping for that day when we will be gathering them up in our arms once again, forever. Thanks for lifting us up in prayer.

disclaimer: this post may not make much sense as I've written it, and rewritten it several times today through tears, a migraine etc. please have grace for my grammar/ sentence structure. I don't really care to fix it tonight;) Although, I AM starting to feel a bit more at peace... God IS faithful.

quick update and pics

2011-09-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very faithful lately to update our blog with the blow by blow details surrounding our adoption. I haven't even finished the last 3 days of our trip to Ethiopia and we've been home for 7 weeks.

Honestly, it's just been so much to process, and it's easier to put a quick blurb on facebook. Yet, I realize that not everyone of our family/friends is on facebook, so you might feel as if you've been left in the dark on the details. I would never want to leave you out of this amazing journey, so I'm going to give you the latest "low down" on our case.

As you all know, we passed court with both our kids on August 8th. Which is a miracle! Not only did we squeak in on the last day that court was open before the rainy season- where they shut down for 6 weeks, but our kids are not biologically related, so we needed 2 separate letters from MOWYCA present in order to pass. Getting one letter was a miracle, but God provided two!

The next step is waiting to be submitted for Embassy. That's US Embassy. Now that we are legally Meron and Bedilu's parents in the eyes of the Ethiopian Government, we need the United States to agree, so that we can bring them into the US.

Meron was submitted last Wednesday. Each agency is only allowed to submit once a week. sigh. Bedilu's paperwork wasn't quite ready last week, but we were told for sure, this week. Well, we got the call this morning that they needed to add one more document and that they were going to make an exception to submit us tomorrow morning, Thursday, because we have 2 kids, and Meron's paperwork has already been there for a week. To say that we are humbled would be an understatement. To say that we are praying like crazy for the Lord to make the path to Embassy clear would also be an understatement. God has been faithful every step of this journey... even if it hasn't been in our timing.

Once the kids paperwork is submitted, Embassy has 10 business days, 2 weeks, to pour over every detail... reading and re reading each document. Checking and rechecking that everything is in order. Before the end of the 10 days, they will either send an email telling us that we are CLEAR to TRAVEL, or an email asking for more documentation. Obviously we are praying against the latter. Our prayer has been that God would go before us, and that those that handle our case would find EVERYTHING in order. That nothing would be out of place or missing.

We expect to hear in the next week that Meron is CLEARED!!! and as soon as Bedilu is submitted tomorrow, we are eagerly awaiting that he too is CLEARED!!.

Would you please pray with us for these details. We are close to finishing this part of the journey. Obviously the real work will begin once we bring our kids home, but we are so eager to begin that phase.

We've spent the last few weeks praying...fasting... reading all about attachment... we've prayed some more... we've packed our bags... we've spent time at my parents cottage...

we've read stories with our kids... cleaned out the toy room... folded a million loads of laundry... cried... emptied and reloaded the dishwasher a gazillion times... laughed with the kids... run to Target for donations... cuddled with Lincoln...prepared Bedilu and Meron's rooms... we've run our kids to piano lessons, and our girls to ballet and sewing lessons... snuggled with our 4 children here at home... and we've started our school year. It's our 5th year of home schooling.

Yesterday was the official start to the school year and I took a few pics of our sweet kiddos all. geared. up for more wonderful home education;)

We're enjoying the beginnings of fall weather. Knowing that the apple orchard, football, sweatshirts and leaves changing beautiful shades of red, orange and yellow are right around the corner.

And also knowing that in just a few short weeks, we'll be on a plane to bring home Bedilu Elijah and Meron Ruth Seevers to join our family.

Please continue to pray with us as we prepare to bring them home. Pray for those at the Embassy who are reviewing our kids files. Pray that the Lord brings all the details of our travel together. and Pray for our hearts as we wait... and then as we start this NEW journey of raising 2 more amazing Seevers' kids.

the rest of trip 1 to Ethiopia...

2011-08-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

I recently realized that I never got past day 3 of our trip to Ethiopia. With trying to get past the jetlag funk, snuggle with our 4 sweet kiddos at home, process our trip and just plain exhaustion, I never finished. Then came the big announcement that we passed court, and the rest has been a whirlwind. That being said, I thought I'd take this opportunity to share the photos and events that took place on days 3-7 of our trip 1 to meet Bedilu and Meron.

Day 4
We started out our day like all the others at our guesthouse in Addis eating the most amazing food prepared by chef David. Some sort of crepe/pancake with maple syrup on top, fresh squeezed pineapple juice, coffee and fresh fruit. We arrived at the Transition Home with a renewed sense of excitement to see our kids again. Today was the day that we would celebrate both Meron and Bedilu's birthdays... since their birthdays are both in July, we thought it would be fun to have a party and celebrate. Jeff and our dear friend, Yonas picked up a cake at a bakery in Addis called Bilos. It was perfect!

The cake says, Happy Birthday to Bedilu and Meron


Singing to the kids!

All of the kids at the Transition Home sang, in English, the Happy Birthday tune to Meron and Bedilu. It was soo sweet. I'm pretty sure that Bedilu LOVES being the center of attention.

Here is Bedilu blowing out the candle... he had to climb up onto the table to reach it. And I think we had to relight it 3 times, because the wind kept blowing it out!

All of the kids enjoyed the celebration, and I think Bedilu and Meron were wondering why they were the center of attention. It was one of the BEST ideas, and I'm soo glad that it worked out. To say that we enjoyed it would be an understatement.

After our time with the kids, it was off to lunch at Lucy's Restaurant with all of our fellow adoption peeps in country with us.

our friends, the Snyder's with their little girl

our awesome travel coordinators, Yonas and Eyob. Miss you both!

Brandon and Jen Hatmaker. Love them.

Sweet Debb Marquez who I've gotten to know through our journey to our babies!

A new DEAR friend, Anna Dreyfus. Miss you, girl!

After lunch, we went to the university museum, then back to the TH for dinner, late night chatting and the best part, we sat around with our friends and prayed for our court date... the following morning. It is SOO good to be with people that have the same heart for adoption that we do, but also Love the Lord like we do. God has placed some amazing people in our path and we feel so honored to walk this journey with them.

I'll leave you with these sweet pics of our kiddos... the ones that we're fighting for. The ones that we went before the judge the following morning and told that we want to be there parents forever.

Hang on!

2011-08-25T06:01:00.000-07:00

As I received word from our family coordinator today that we were once again not submitted to Embassy, my heart grew heavy. Very heavy.

Imagine 2 of your own children that you love being half way around the world. This love that we have for them is FIERCE. It's unconditional.

Right now, when they are sick, we're not there to comfort them. When they scrape their knee, we're not there to kiss away the pain.

We want to cuddle and kiss them. Giggle and be silly. Laugh and play. We want to teach them about Jesus. Read goodnight stories to them. Hold them and Love them forever.

We WERE there. For 7 whole days. We held them. We bonded with them. We love them just as much as we do our other four children. This wait is painful.

I know. this is raw. this is my heart today. heavy and so sad.

But just like the Lord's mercies are new every morning, my sweet daughter, Maddie wrote a note on the board in our homeschooling room, and when I walked in, this is what I read:

Mom and Dad,
I LOVE you guys so much! God is doing amazing things in your lives through this adoption journey. But I know this is the tough part for you guys, but if He brought all 4 of us to you, brought you to Ethiopia and back and if He answered so many prayers already in the past, He can certainly answer this one prayer. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS! Keep hoping and praying!!! Love, Maddie Jane Seevers.

um... ahem. to say that I am humbled and moved to tears by this girl would be an understatement. seriously.

She is 13. I love her heart. I love that she gets who God is and His unfailing love and faithfulness. I love that she understands what it means to be adopted into HIS family, so she gets why we are adopting Bedilu and Meron into OUR family. For LIFE.

This note was such balm to my weary soul.

And then there was this note from my amazing hubby:

Don't give up! I just wanted to take a minute to encourage you. You are awesome, babe. I love your passion. I love that you love our kids so deeply. God is going to continue to use you and our story in a mighty way. Keep believing that God is writing our adoption story…and He’s not quite done yet. And what a story that will be. Just picture the party that will be happening in heaven when we pick them up and take them home forever. It will happen. I love you. Hang in there honey.

http://bible.us/Gal6.9.MSG So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit.

And then this morning, Lincoln climbed into bed with us. As usual, he started in with his mumbling and chattering away. At one point he said, "Come, Bedilu! Come, Bedilu!" He's soo ready for another brother/playmate. I love it!

I love how The Lord uses people in our lives to minister to our souls...

So we wait in hope for another Wednesday when we will be submitted. Praying, Believing for next Wednesday.

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

We're coming Bedilu! We're coming Meron! Hang on!

numbers mean nothing.

2011-08-18T14:52:00.000-07:00

The other morning I woke up with some things on my mind. Mothers and the orphan crisis.

My wife and I have been in the process of adopting for over a year. We just passed court and became the parents of two incredible Ethiopian children and we could not be more excited. However, amidst the excitement there is sadness about a problem. A really big problem. It's called the orphan crisis. For those of us who have adopted, or are in the process of adopting, we have felt the immense burden for the voiceless children who are left in the horrible wake of some catastrophic statistics.

But I'm not going to put them here. Why?

Because you don't care.

That's right. We don't care about numbers. 1 out of every 11 women are dying due to pregnancy related issues, and yet those numbers mean nothing to you or me...yet.

I saw a video when we first started out on this adoption journey where Eric Ludy talked about "depraved indifference". In essence these terms boil down to the fact that because we are not directly impacted by these people, i.e. the number of people starving in Africa, or the number of women that die during childbirth in developing countries, we won't be moved enough to act. Tough words to swallow, but they are true.

I know, I know...I've said them too. You're thinking, "but what can I do about children in Africa starving, or mothers dying during childbirth? These problems are massive." And you know what? You'd be right. They are massive.

Consider the orphan crisis. There are an estimated 163 million orphans the world over. And the number continues to climb. One would think, this challenge is insurmountable. Again, you'd be right, IF you did not believe that you are capable of making a significant impact, Well, maybe it's time for a little pep talk.

Look what happens when that number becomes a face. Consider what you helped BEMM accomplish with one mother who had a stomach tumor, that if not removed, would die. You mobilized. You acted. And you know what? She is a mother alive today because you cared enough to act. You didn't help a number. You helped a person.

You are capable of saving a life. Yes, you heard me. YOU...are capable of saving a life. Not just any life. A mothers life. You could impact the orphan crisis in a very real and personal way.

Numbers are people. Do you care about them?

Prove it. Act.

I've come to Please visit www.bemm.org and together we can make a difference. They are raising money for an ambulance that will serve 24 rural villages and save 15-20 lives every month!

I think we can agree, these are numbers I think we can all rally around.

Forever

2011-08-08T06:29:00.000-07:00

This was written last night right before I went to bed... This morning, we are humbled and pleased beyond words to announce the two newest members of the Seevers family! Bedilu Elijah and Meron Ruth!

Dear Bedilu and Meron,

Tonight is the LAST night that you will sleep as orphans. FOREVER.

In the morning, it will be official that Daddy and I are YOUR parents. Forever.

You will no longer be alone. You will no longer wonder if anyone loves you. You will KNOW that you have a mommy and daddy and 4 siblings that adore you. We love you, unconditionally. Forever.

We have waited for this moment since God first laid it on our hearts to adopt you... that was 20 months ago. We have been pursuing you with our hearts since then. Of course, The Lord knew from the beginning of time that you would be our children. He knew that you would be a part of our family Forever.

You see, even though He never wanted you to be without a family, when you no longer had a biological family, He hand-grafted you into OUR family. The Seevers family. Forever. Our hearts are full. We will love you with our whole hearts. Forever.

We will snuggle you, and read stories to you. We will giggle and play. We will teach you how to play hide and seek and how to count to ten. We'll take you to our favorite places. Show you all of our favorite movies. Share our favorite snacks with you, forever. Most importantly, we will share the love of Jesus with you. We will teach about His Saving Grace, His Faithfulness and His Sovereignty. And how by giving His life for you and me, we can become adopted into HIS family, forever.

Our hearts will never tire of loving you, cuddling you, kissing your cheeks. We will never tire of singing sweet lullabies to you, dancing around the kitchen acting silly, finding out what your favorite colors are, what your favorite flavor of ice cream is, figuring out WITH you what your gifts and talents are... your interests. We will love you forever.

Bedilu, not only do you have 2 older sisters who adore you, but 2 brothers who can't wait to wrestle and with you, and how to catch fireflies at night. They are eager to share their legos and cars with you, and play with you on our swing set.

Meron, your sisters can't wait to play dolls with you, cuddle with you and put pretty bows in your hair. And your brothers can't wait to read stories to/with you, kiss your cheek and brag on you to everyone they meet.

To say that you are already loved by us would be a huge understatement. Just as Christ adopted us for life by giving the ultimate sacrifice, His life, to cover our sin, and by doing so grafted us into the family of God, we too have adopted you FOR LIFE.

You are now grafted into our family... FOREVER.

a few pics from Ethiopia

2011-07-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

until we can show you our kids faces, these are a few of our favorites...

Day 1 in Ethiopia

2011-07-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

Today is Sunday, and we're on the very long flight home from Africa... 16 hours to be exact, and that just lands us in DC, with another leg to Detroit, then an hour drive home. In all, it's a 30 hour jaunt from this sweet newly beloved land of Ethiopia, to our home in Ohio.

I'm going to try and recap our week, both for those of you that are interested in all that we experienced this week, but also for our own memory. I don't ever want to forget what I experienced... the emotions that I felt... the things that I saw.

Day 1 in Ethiopia was last Sunday. We arrived in Addis at 10:30am, after a VERY long flight. It was extra long, due to the fact that although it was supposed to be a direct flight from Dulles to Addis, there was a passenger that was experiencing swelling in her leg, and the flight staff was concerned that it could be a blood clot! So... our pilot turned the plane around, yes! around, and went back to Rome to drop her off. I am thankful that she was okay, but sooo extremely over being in this flying sardine can!

It took us probably an hour and a half to get through customs, get our baggage, exchange our dollars for birr, and get through security. Thankfully all of our bags made it, and security didn't tear through our luggage, even though we had lots of donations that tend to make extra problems... as they are wanting to be sure that we aren't there to sell our goods.

We met up with some amazing other AWAA families, whose stories we've been following throughout this whole process and headed to lunch with our AWAA group.

a dear friend, Debb Marquez

The Hatmakers and us

another dear friend, Anna Dreyfus

Now realize that we had been awake for like 30 hours... sleeping on the plane is totally overrated! and we literally had 5 minutes to drop off our stuff and head to lunch, then on to meet our kids!! We were soo overwhelmed with excitement that we threw our bags in our room and took off! Thankfully I did have a chance on the plane to freshen up a bit... wouldn't want to look like a haggard mess when I met my kids for the first time!

Our agency's sign outside the gate

the gate of the Transition Home

Our agency is soo amazing that they set up everything from where we would be eating, to making sure that we had a driver available to get us there, as well as 3 different travel coordinators that acted as our translators, tour guides... and our entertainment. We were so honored to become friends with Yonas, T, and Eyob... as well as one kick butt driver... Dawit!

Yonas and Eyob


Me, Eyob and our friend Aliya Snyder

Dawitt and Jeff

Our meetcha day was, well... pretty amazing!

Our kids had been told by the on staff psychologist that we would be coming this day, so they were as well prepared as you could be at ages 4 and 2. I don't think that I can describe the emotions rolling through both Jeff and I as they walked out that first day, but I'll give it a shot... excitement, thrill, fear, joy, hope, sheer terror, peace, and the list goes on...

The language barrier was probably the toughest thing, especially for B****** as he's old enough to talk and relate, but a bit too young to understand WHY we aren't making any sense. For example, B***** has been in an orphanage his whole life (almost 4 years), minus the 8 months that his nanny took him home with her to raise him... but I'm getting ahead of myself... so for almost 4 years, he's been without a family. He's been without a mommy who will kiss away his boo boos. Without a daddy to wrestle with. Without a mommy to sing him lullabies at night. Without a family to laugh with, pray with, rejoice with. He had no one who he could call his own. And for the last 5 months, he's been in a transition home ( a really good one, mind you) where other kids have had care packages delivered to them from their new parents, pictures of their new family, new home. Notes of love and encouragement that they were coming soon, new clothes, and treats. Something to make them feel special. B***** was never called to the front of the line for such treatment. No one sent him a care package. No new pics of family that was coming soon. No packages so lovingly put together by a new mommy. No new pjs, or cool tshirts... no match box cars or fruit snacks. There was no one taking his picture to send back to America to a new family.

... that is, until we were matched with him and his new sis to be, M*****! In June they received their first care package just for them!! New pjs. and fruit snacks, underwear, and tshirts, pics of OUR family, that would now become THEIR family. It brings me to tears to think about how exciting it must've been for B***** especially (due to his age), to receive some of that "center of attention" treatment for the first time in his life.

So, fast forward to our MEETCHA day on Sunday. He'd been told that his mommy and daddy were finally coming! I can't imagine the excitement and probably fear that he had coursing through his body. We received hugs and smiles all around when they were brought out. One thing that is truly amazing is that B***** has TOTALLY taken on the roll of big brother to M******. Many of you know that they are not biologically related, however, once they are legally ours they will truly be brother and sister. B**** is so very protective of his baby sister... looking out for her... sharing with her etc. It is amazing.

The emotions going through both of our kids must've been overwhelming, to say the least. Here come 2 strange looking people, that although I've seen pics of them, they smell different, their skin color is clearly different, they don't speak the same language... these are just a few of the many thoughts that must've been racing through especially B*****'s little head.

I will say that the language barrier was probably the MOST difficult piece to all of this. For example, we would get out a new toy, such as side walk chalk, and he'd be THRILLED. We'd want to help him open it, as it is almost impossible for a 4 year old to break through the indestructible plastic packaging. But instead of it looking like we were trying to help, since he doesn't understand, "oh, let me help you with that... mommy will help", it looked to him like we're grabbing it back out of his hand, after just giving it to him and speaking in a language that he is TOTALLY not able to understand. It must've been soo confusing.

Days 1, 2, and 3 were pretty much a jumble of highs... B***** laughing and smiling, to lows B***** crying and frustrated because he didn't understand all that was happening. In the meantime, M***** whom we concerned about, because we only saw a few photos of her even smiling, was bonding very well with both of us. Snuggling, laughing, smiling, soo happy to be in her mommy's arms etc.

After many tears, both from B******, as well as Jeff and I... and LOTS of prayers going up, Jeff and I were able to learn several key words in Amharic that TOTALLY changed things for the better. Such as "good job", "wait", "come", "no", "I love you", "Okay". It made a WORLD of difference! And yes, I totally believe that the prayers going up from our friends and family back in America definitely helped!

So, I'll end this post with those encouraging words and will share "the turning point" as well as B***** and M*****'s birthday celebration in the next post.

the time is now!

2011-07-16T02:18:00.000-07:00

Phase one is complete. Our bags are checked and we're sitting at our gate waiting to board the first leg of this journey. We went to sleep last night at 11:15. Thankfully LBobber didn't wake up at his usual time and come into our room to sleep with us at 1 am. Nor did he wake up at 2:45 when we left. Praise the Lord. That was a huge answered prayer. I knew that it would be soo much harder to leave if our sweet boy was awake and crying for me. God knows what I can handle. My amazing mom came over to stay the rest of the night, while my awesome dad drove us to the airport at 3am. Living 2 doors down from my parents definitely has it's benefits.

We were the first to check in with United... in fact, we arrived before the staff had even started their day. Can you say eager? haha. We knew that one of our four checked bags was going to be overweight, but we were hoping that they would let it slide. Actually all 4 of our bags were overweight, but only by a pound each... except for the 4th bag. They wouldn't even let the 1 pound overage go through, so we had to shift things around, and unfortunately, the 4th bag was 25 lbs. overweight. yikes. We had to shell out $200, but it was worth it... we don't want to leave any of these precious donations behind.

I have no idea how I'm awake right now... must be adrenaline. I've not been sleeping well for the last several weeks... and of course, right now I'm living on only less than 3 hours. It's funny how your body just shifts and adjusts to different stresses in your life, whether they are good or bad. This is definitely a "good" stress.

We'll arrive in DC at 7:30am, right about the time that most of you will just be waking for the day;) Then we'll board at noon and fly directly to Addis Ababa...the capital city of our sweet B**** and M****'s birth country. To describe the emotions running through my heart and brain right now is hard. We are soo eager and excited to see our kids birth country... to experience it. We've fallen in love with it's people, before we've even landed. And of course, we can't wait to hold our children, to kiss their sweet cheeks, to cuddle them, to read to them, to sing to them, to listen to their sweet voices.

We'll be in the air for 13 hours! Please be praying that we are able to get some sleep. And that we arrive without incident. EEEEEeeekkkkk! We will meet our children TOMORROW! Stay tuned as we'll be posting as often as we can with spotty wifi.

We would be remiss if we didn't take this opportunity to say thank you to soo many of you who have helped us get to this point in our journey. Thank you for catching this vision. Thank you for listening to us share our hearts. Thanks for praying over us, with us and for us. Thank you for laughing with us, crying with us, and celebrating. Thank you for supporting us both financially and emotionally. This is not about us. This is what God is calling us to do. We're just along for the ride. This is freakin' exciting! Thanks for coming along for the ride!

countdown

2011-07-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

In a few short days, we will board a plane, travel 20 hours (with layover) to Ethiopia where we will meet our sweet kiddos, B***** and M***** face to face for the very first time! There are soo many emotions that have been rolling around, not only in my mind, but lately on my sleeve. While we are THRILLED to meet our kiddos and have been anticipating this trip for over a year, my heart is heavy with sadness at leaving our other 4 children at home while we take this next step in this journey that the Lord has us on. We will only be gone for 9 short days, but I've never been gone more than 4 or 5, and that was 7 years ago! It will probably be hardest leaving LBobber, as he is only 2 and although he understands a lot, he may not be able to comprehend the time frame of 9 days. I pretty much broke down the other night SOBBING like the world was ending. I seriously was a mess. Thankfully, I have an amazing husband who hugged me, encouraged me and prayed over me. The Lord's peace did come... which is really quite amazing, and I was able to finally get some rest. I woke up crying and basically cried on and off all morning. My kids were so sweet... hugging me and telling me that it would be okay. sigh.

I continue to be amazed at the emotions that have played out throughout this adoption journey. They are sooo very much like being pregnant. I haven't been able to sleep well at all these last few weeks, very much like it was for me right before I delivered each of my 4 precious kiddos.

Yesterday was a much better day, once I was able to get a hold of my emotions. There has been a lot of extra snuggle time going on in the Seevers home...

I have been nesting like crazy... having Jeff paint all of our furniture, painting the kids bathroom, the boys room, and cleaning drawers, closets etc. like a crazy woman.

We've also been packing, weighing, and repacking like mad! Thanks to all of you that have brought over donations for us to take with us. Everything from diapers, wipes, flip flops, formula, granola bars, diaper ointment, baby vitamins, fruit snacks, sidewalk chalk, suckers and more! THANK YOU!! The people that will be receiving these gifts will be forever grateful! We are allowed to check two 50lb bags each, along with 1 carry on each and a back pack. Trust me when I say that they are all packed to the hilt!

We feel pretty well prepared, as far as the physical stuff goes... we've had our vaccines, our bags are packed, our paperwork is prepared, grocery shopping for the kids and last minute stuff around here will be done this week.

We have also "upped" our spiritual warfare for our family. Being sure to put on the full armor of God daily, to fight off the enemy's attacks. We are asking though that YOU, our friends and family, would also be praying for us... we would love to have many people praying for us over these last few days before we leave, for safety in travel, our kids safety, for peace and health throughout our trip, for our first meeting with B***** and M*****... that they will be able to bond easily with us, for our court date (July 21st) - that we'd find favor with the judge and the MOWYCA officials that have the authority to give us a favorable letter of approval... we are EAGER to hear the words from the judge's mouth, " they are yours" for grace, and hope! I'm sure that there are a hundred other things that you could be praying for us, so pray as the Spirit leads you.

We are soo very thankful to our family and friends... and honestly, even strangers that have stepped up and supported us throughout this process. This was never about us. This has always been about these kids... their need for a home. a loving home. a place where they can grow and thrive. a place where they can learn about the love of their Heavenly Father. where they can learn about His saving grace. a place that they can call family.

Thank you for seeing this vision that the Lord has placed on our hearts. Thank you, to many of you who have stepped up and helped to make it happen. THIS is what the body of Christ is really all about.

We'll continue to update our blog as we follow our hearts to Africa and my hope is that next week, once we've passed court, I'll be able to post pics of the newest Seevers' kids.

Thanks again for your words of encouragement, and for your prayers!

"I want my life to fit in this book..."

2011-06-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

We've been in the process of adopting for over a year. A year where we have grown tremendously in our relationship with each other, as well as our relationship with God.

Some have told me they don't understand how we could do this, adopt two kids when we already have four. I usually nod my head and acknowledge that it is indeed difficult to grasp. However, my fear is that they won't ever understand, and that we will always be considered "weird".

Francis Chan spoke at Catalyst 2010 and talked about what's weird...

There are over 210 MILLION orphans worldwide. If we are weird for trying to bring two of them into our loving home...so be it.

I gladly accept the label.

donations, anyone? UPDATED!!!

2011-06-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:
We just got word that an anonymous donor would like to give us a matching grant up to $3500! That means if we raise $3500, we will have the $7000 needed to be fully funded! This will include our plane tickets for 2 trips, in country fees, the whole kit and Kaboodle! This is VERY exciting news! If you'd like to give a tax deductible donation, please send your check here:

TAX DEDUCTIBLE DONATIONS:
International CARE
PO Box 1603
Bel Air, MD 21014
(*please include a separate note referring to Jeff & Katie Seevers adoption)

God has been soo faithful! I know that He will provide the rest of these funds needed to get our sweet B***** and M***** home!

It's hard to believe that this is real. Jeff and I are going to Africa next month... to meet our kids... to go to court and hopefully pass on July 21st!!! It's so unreal, and amazing all at the same time!

Honestly, I can't even believe that I am typing this post!! This is one of the posts that I've dreamed of writing... our donation list. Haha. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but if I'm writing this, it means we're going to Africa soon! Well, we're leaving in 24 days! Can I hear an AMEN???! God is soo good.

We are going to take donations with us. For those of you in Ohio who would like to help us, please let me know ASAP and we can take them along. Here are some things we will take:

diapers (all sizes)

unscented baby wipes

bibs

hand sanitizer

vitamin D drops and Iron drops for babies and children

infant and children's vitamins

powdered formula (target brand is fine)

children's clothing (new or like-new)

Croc shoes for older kids(Avent for 8 and 12 oz.)

diaper rash cream (A+D original oinment is preferred)

development toys for babies and toddlers

bubbles

children's DVDs and CDs

sidewalk chalk

puzzles for young children

paper towels

Tri-vi-sol multivitamins (0-6 months)

Poly-vi-sol (6 months-2 years)

Chewable multi-vitamin (2-9 years)

Infant and Children's Tylenol (generic acetaminophen is fine)

Infant and Children's Motrin (generic Ibuprofen is fine)

Neosporin

Benadryl liquid/ elixir

chewy granola bars

fruit snacks

lollypops

cheese crackers

We will be delivering these items to both the orphanage where our kids came from, as well as the transition home where they've been since February. We'd also like to have some of these snacky items on hand to give to the kids on the street who are hungry. Starvation is very real in Ethiopia, and we always want to be prepared to give some sort of food item to those that we meet on the street.

We do still need to raise about $7,000 to be fully funded, so a monetary donation would be appreciated as well.

Even more important than these donations, we really need prayer coverage. We are very aware that the enemy doesn't like adoption, and when God's people adopt, it can feel at times that we have a target on our back. Jeff and I have had to step up our spiritual warfare over our family, as we've felt defeated, overwhelmed, and just plan exhausted at times.

Ephesians 6:10-18 has been on my lips a lot lately.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people.

So please join with us in prayer. Please cover us with God's Word. He's doing an amazing thing in us and we are so very excited to be a part of this.

Blessings,
Katie and Jeff

Ethiopia bound

2011-06-21T07:39:00.000-07:00

In 25 short days, we'll be on a jet plane flying over land and sea for approximately 18 hours to meet our 2 precious kids! How did that happen, you may ask? I have NO IDEA! Actually, I do know who has been orchestrating this beautiful symphony, I just didn't realize it would be quite like this. We are beyond thrilled. My head is still swimming.

Here's how it went down: Yesterday June 20th, the phone rang at about 4 pm. I glanced down at the caller id... it was the coveted 703 area code. Heart pounding. "Why is it pounding", I thought. We were expecting to get a call that B******'s paperwork was found, then, we were told, we'd be submitted to court, which could take 2-4 months to get our court date. That would be well into the rainy season. So we assumed, barring a miracle, that we wouldn't go to court until at least October.

Of course, God had a better plan. I answered the phone and it was Kristen, our travel contact. I'm thinking, "why are you calling me, we're not traveling yet". She said that she had good news for us... we were assigned a court date for July 21st! I said, "um. are you sure you called the right family? This is the Seevers' family. We are adopting B***** and M******. Are you sure you're calling the right person?" She laughed and said, "Yes! I AM calling the right family". Seriously? A. Mazing.

Now, the amazing news is that we HAVE a court date! Woohoo! However, we still need all of you to be praying that they are able to locate B*****'s abandonment papers before we go to court on the 21st. If these papers are present, and the MOWYCA letters are present, we will pass court! insert smile. This is what we are believing for... what we are expecting.

If for some reason the papers aren't present, we will not pass court until they have these important papers. Another piece of good news is that although we don't know exactly WHEN court closes, we assume it will be at least at the end of the 1st week in August. There is still plenty of time between now and when court closes for The Lord to allow those papers to be located. We are trusting that He's "got this".

I'm choosing to focus on what I know is TRUE. We are going to ET in 4 weeks to meet our kids. We have a court date on the 21st. We believe that passing court IS going to happen. I'm choosing to keep my eyes focused on Jesus... not focusing on the "what ifs".

I watched a great video a couple years back by a pastor who was talking about this very thing. He reminded me of the numerous times in the Old Testament when God's faithfulness to His people was present... even with enemies all around them.

One event in particular sticks out in my memory as the pastor spoke of the detailed directions to the Israelites as to HOW and WHERE they were to set up camp, with their enemies encroaching all around them. God gave them the exact direction (north, south, east and west) that each tribe must set up camp. Each tribe was to face forward towards the Ark of the Covenant, where the very presence of God resided.

Now by doing this, as they were directed, it actually left their backs exposed to the enemies all around them.

What God was teaching them, is that they didn't need to keep turning around and checking to see if they were safe. They didn't need to keep asking the "what if" questions. God Had Their Backs.

He's Got our Backs now. When the Israelites followed God's directions, they were NEVER attacked by the enemy. Wow. I want to keep my eyes focused on Jesus. I want to not turn back in worry, fear, uncertainty etc. He's Got Our Backs!

And we are THRILLED to be leaving for ET in 4 weeks. I'd better wrap this up so that I can start making lists... booking flights... and thanking my sweet Jesus for answered prayer. We're coming, kids!!!

2011-06-18T15:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've updated our blog. It's not that I haven't wanted to... believe me, I wish that I had soo much good material/ news that I was updating twice a day. It's actually for lack of time... and lack of news.

We haven't had an update on B******'s paperwork since May 12th. That's a whole month. No news is NOT good news in this case. Of course we realize that this is a great opportunity to press into Jesus. ahhhh. It is soo sweet to draw closer to Him, yet the process has been painful at times.

As I am not able to share pics of B****** and M******, I thought I'd share some pics of our other sweet kids.

we spent the week at my parents cottage on the lake this week with my sister and her 4 kiddos. It was a much needed respite.

As we patiently... ahem, sort of patiently, wait for word on B******'s paperwork, we are enjoying the moment with our awesome kids, and the amazing dog days of summer.

The verses that I've been clinging to lately are Mark 9:24 Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" and also a new favorite Jude 1:2 (The Message) Relax, everything's going to be all right; rest, everything's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!

God is faithful. Our kids WILL get home to join our family. The question is just "when". I'm choosing to trust in Jesus. He's a much better driver than I am. He has B***** and M******'s best interest at heart. His timing is perfect.

I know that one day we'll look back at this wait and see His faithfulness around every corner, His grace flowing over us. One day, this wait will be forgotten as we go about our daily routine with 6 kids!! Eeeeekkk. I can't wait!

Eagerness would be an understatement. For now, I'll rest in His arms.

stronger...

2011-06-14T06:52:00.000-07:00

"There is strength that sets me free..."

they just get it...

2011-06-02T16:57:00.000-07:00

Last week we took a road trip...

to Atlanta... to see some sweet friends, The Hoffmans.

like us, they're kind of into this adoption thing;)

A few years ago, they received a referral for a precious little boy. He got sick before they were able to get to him. Because of the lack of nutrition, he didn't make it. It's devastating... and it happens EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Many of these illnesses are completely preventable with proper nutrition and clean water. As a result of their tragic loss, they started a non profit organization called, Brighton Their World.
Laura and Tymm collect and ship/take infant formula to third world countries, for the babies in the orphanages who soo desperately need it. We are soo grateful for the many friends/ family who contributed to our formula bounty that we were able to hand deliver to the Hoffmans;)

We were soo blessed by our conversation with them. I feel like we met two more "kindred spirits"

Thanks, Tymm, Laura, and Meron for hanging with us for the evening. More importantly, thanks for working so hard to reach the most vulnerable children in our world. So many lives are saved due to your efforts and God's blessings on it.

On a side note: we are THRILLED to celebrate with the Hoffman's for their finally passing court yesterday for their sweet girl that they'll be bringing home soon. God is awesome!

We were once again humbled by God's blessings of introducing us to such awesome peeps that are living for HIM, and caring for "the least of these" as we are commanded to do... we are honored to call this family "friends"

good friends and piano recitals...

2011-05-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we visited some dear friends in Ashland, Ohio. Our friends, Nate and Jenn Shultz have been with us through thick and thin...

We've been friends for many years... about 16 to be exact. They're the kind of friends that you're able to pick up right where you left off... you know the kind. We've been soo blessed to have them in our lives. Throughout this adoption journey, they've been soo supportive and we are very blessed by their encouragement.

We spent the day laughing, talking and of course, eating some delicious food! We went to a nearby park so that the kids could play a little tennis, as well as go crazy on some playground equipment.

These kind of gatherings are good for the soul... it fills us up. Reenergizes us. Not to mention, we were able to show pictures of our kiddos that are waiting for us in Ethiopia, and talk about the next step in bringing them home. What IS the next step? I'll get to that in a minute.

We also had the kids' piano recitals this weekend, which kept us very busy!

So, the next step is that we wait for our little guy's paperwork to be compiled. They said it could be a few months. sigh. We are praying that they are wrong. We're asking for all of you to pray with us. Many of you know that in Ethiopia, they shut down the courts in August, thru September due to the rainy season, and the lack of transportation capability. We would REALLY like to be there for our court date before this happens... if they are not able to give us a court date before August, we will have to wait until October/November. Please be praying with us for this miracle! Of course, we definitely want to do this in God's timing... but we'd also like our will and timing to be in line with God's. We're not asking too much, are we?

Thanks for standing in the gap and praying with us! We CANNOT wait to show you their sweet faces so that you can be in awe of God's faithfulness as much as we are;)

As we wait, we're soo thankful for the friends like the Shultzes that the Lord has placed in our lives... for such a time as this.

Clinging to God's promises tonight... resting in His peace.

Referral received!

2011-05-15T19:01:00.000-07:00

Let me warn you now, this is long winded... but what's new? ha.

Many of you are probably wondering why I haven't updated in a while... life around here has been a bit crazy, fo sho!

So let me start off by giving our amazingly awesome news... we got our referral!!!

What is a referral, you might ask. I am happy to answer. It is when one is matched with their child/children. They are given both his/her medical history as well as any info on his/her past. Along with that info there are pictures of these amazing kids!

Of course, they aren't legally ours until we go to court, but in our hearts they are! We are pleased to announce that we have been matched with an adorable litte boy who is going to be 4 sometime this summer... AND a sweet little girl who will be 2 in July! WAHHOOO!!! I mean, lots of cartwheels going on in the Seevers house right now...

...but, I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to back up a bit. Actually all the way back to April 12th. It was like any other Tuesday morning. Crazy, running the kids to art/ choir, running to do errands in between co op classes.

It was during this craziness that my cell phone rang. I looked and low and behold it was the infamous 703 area code! Could it be? My heart did a little flip as I picked up the phone. I had gotten a couple of calls from a telemarketer with this same area code, so I wasn't sure if it was yet again another sales call.

As I said hello, the voice that answered back was our sweet FC, Emily. I was thinking, "this has GOT to be a practical joke... who does this?" I was pleasantly surprised though when Emily said, "this is your UNofficial referral call"... Okay. What does that mean? Basically, they had a referral for us for 2!! kids, but their paperwork wasn't quite compiled yet... she just wanted to see if we were indeed open to these 2 precious kiddos.

Of course we said YES!! This was all without seeing their sweet faces. I was told it would be a couple of weeks before it would be official, and at that point, we'd have pictures.

So 2... 3... and 4 weeks went by. I was not allowed to share this news with anyone, except for family. To say that I was going crazy would be an extreme understatement. I don't keep secrets well... and THIS was a big secret. sigh. We just kept praying and trusting that it would be in God's timing. Not an easy thing to trust at all times, but we did our best.

Fast forward to this past Wednesday, May 11th. We were on our way to Louisville for the CAFO (Christian Alliance For Orphans) Summit. We had all of our kids with us, the van was packed to the hilt, we were ready for a 5 hour drive ahead... armed with DVD's, snacks, matchbox cars, books galore, dolls, more snacks, juice cups, ipods, did I mention snacks?

We were just leaving our town, and as I was texting a friend that "hopefully" I'd be calling from CAFO with good news about our referral, when my phone rang! It was a 703 area code... seriously? This better NOT be a joke. I mean come on! This is torture... however, once again it was sweet Emily. My heart was RACING, my hands were clammy, I whispered to Jeff that it WAS Emily.

This WAS our referral call! She was sending pics of the kids and their medical history etc. Unbelievable. God is awesome. It was such a thrill to be able to finally see their faces... the little ones that we've been praying for, for a year now!

Unfortunately, I can't post pics of their sweet faces until after we pass court... which could be a few months away, as we're waiting on some important paperwork for court. So, instead I will leave you with some pics of our kids and their cousins as they played while we attended the CAFO conference.

from R, my sis with her babysitters

Our Claire with my nephew, Churchill

best buddies: Zoe and Claire

Add caption

You may be wondering where my pics from CAFO are.... well, let's just say I was a bit side tracked.


Lincoln, Maddie and my nephew, Teddy


Jeff, myself, our 4 kids with my sis and her family

Thanks, Candice for watching our kids! Thanks, Jesus for our referral for 2 amazing kids! Thanks to all of you for your continued prayer!

Please continue praying as we eagerly await our court date, which will come once all of our little guy's paperwork comes through.

Our first care package will be sent out tomorrow to some friends going to ET in 2 weeks for their court date. Not only will they get a chance to love on our kids, but they will also take pics for us! We have another family taking another care package to them at the beginning of June! We are soo thankful for those that are willing to squeeze in these gallon ziploc bags of goodies into their luggage for our kids! You guys rock!

Eeeekkkkkk! squeals of excitement!

a trip to the zoo...

2011-05-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

We've met some amazing people on this adoption journey. Seriously. Like "friends for life" kind of people. We have the same heart for orphans...the same love for our Savior...many of the same goals and passions.

One of these families that we love soo much is the Gomez family. They are awesome.

I swear Jackie and I were twins separated at birth... we have soo much in common, it's scary.

Josue and Jackie adopted their amazing little boy, Moshe, almost 2 years ago from Ethiopia.

He is a riot. Claire and he are pretty much inseparable.

This past Saturday we met them at the Cleveland Zoo for the day, where we were able to see some amazing animals, enjoy our kids and chat all day long.

After a day of fun we headed to the local Ethiopian Restaurant for some incredible food!

We feel so blessed by the people that The Lord keeps bringing into our lives... including this awesome family!

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us".
We are eager for the next time that we get together to be one of celebration for our kiddos that we'll be adopting from Ethiopia! Here's to many more joyous gatherings of believers... celebrating the life of the children in our lives!

to the finish...

2011-04-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 5am. I was dressed and ready to go with a piece of toast and banana in hand. Hat? check. Mittens? check. Coat? check. Race number? check. Ipod? check. Opps. Ipod was almost dead. Quickly charged it for 10 minutes. Ipod recharged? check.
Jeff, my awesome husband, was the chaperon as we picked up my running buddies/ good friends, and we were off. Today at approximately 7:03, I crossed over the starting line of the Glass City Half Marathon.


Kim, myself and Heather preparing for the race.

It was cold. Whom I kidding? It was freezing. It was REALLY windy. Did I mention is was cold?
But I knew once we got going we'd warm up. There were 5,000 runners at this race. It was exhilarating. I was sooo pumped to be running this race for our kids that we'll be adopting from Ethiopia. I had Jeff mark up my arm, so that I wouldn't forget.

The first 8 miles went really fast. I had to make a quick pit stop, and my girlfriend, Kim, and I had decided that we were going to run it together until the end. We stopped, I set down my ipod... um. ahem, Jeff's ipod, on the shelf in the port-a-potty, forgot about it, and took off. We had gotten about 1/10 of a mile down the road before I realized it was missing. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I HAD to go back. I sent Kim on her way and then proceeded to turn around and run into the mass of human beings running toward me. I heard one girl yell out, "Is that girl done with the race already??" um. no.

I was praying like crazy that The Lord would hold on to that ipod, and not let anyone take it.You see, this is the 3rd ipod that I've had... my 1st one, I ran through the washing machine. It was in my pocket after a run, and I forgot about it. sigh. Then I borrowed my daughter's ipod... and again it was in the pocket of my jacket after a run, and I ran it through the washing machine AGAIN. blah. I could not, would not, leave Jeff's ipod in the port-a-potty... even if it meant running the extra 2 tenths of a mile, to be exact. AND risk someone swiping it. THANKFULLY, it was there... right where I left it. whew! I was thanking Jesus for His goodness as I turned back around and headed the right direction to the finish line.

Now running solo, I knew that I was getting closer to the end... At mile 12, just when I needed it THE MOST, my family was on the sidelines jumping, shouting, clapping and cheering for me. I started sobbing. Jeff, all of our kids, My sis, Candice, and her hubby and kids, and my dad were there. I was overcome by emotion. Just knowing what I was running for... our babies in Ethiopia, was enough to put me over the edge. It WAS AWESOME.

As I got close to the Glass Bowl, I could hear the announcer calling out people's names as they crossed the finish line. I knew I was soo close. The end was near. I pushed really hard those last couple of miles, trying to make up for the lost time spent on the crazy ipod. Note to self: get an ipod holder.

It's hard to believe that it's over. All of the training. The sore muscles. The blisters. The sweat. I am soo happy that I have had the opportunity to run this race in honor of our kids that will be home with us soon... I'm hopeful for the things to come. I'm excited to see what The Lord has for our future. I'm eager. I'm glad that I found the ipod... and, I'm going to go take a nap now.

run baby run.

2011-04-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow's the BIG day!! In less than 24 hours, I will be running 13.1 miles at the Glass City Half Marathon eeekkkk! I am soo very excited and a bit nervous as well.

Here I am with my running buddy, Kim Palmer, 4 years ago, at our first marathon.

I have had so much support for this race... thanks to my friends, Kim Palmer, Heather Frantz, and Tami Olin for all of the times you've gotten up early, run in the rain, encouraged me, sweat with me, and laughed along the way... I couldn't have done this without you.

I've also had awesome encouragement and prayer support from fellow adoptive mom, Leanne Dunlap. As well as my awesome family (the Zouhary / Seevers crew). I can't forget my awesome buddies who have been amazing friends through this process. On so many different levels, Jackie Gomez and Susan Allee!

Thanks also for the financial support we've received for this half to go towards our adoption. We raised $2426 thanks to so many awesome friends.

God has been doing some AMAZING things this week, which I can't share just yet. But trust me, He IS AMAZING! As I run, I'll be thinking of our kids "to be"... also thanking The Lord for the amazing 4 kids that we've been blessed with: Maddie, Jonah, Claire and Lincoln.

You can be sure that Jeff will be taking lots of photos and I'll post them after the race. If you think of it, please be praying for me as I run tomorrow morning 7am EST.

Philippians 3:14 I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

running the race.

2011-04-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

stream of conciousness:
I'm running a half marathon. In 5 short days. I'm doing it as a fundraiser for our adoption. I'll be thinking of our babies as I run. I haven't run a half in almost 4 years. And that was before baby #4. I've trained hard. I've run probably hundreds of miles. Yes. It's safe to say I've run hundreds. Yet, I'm still nervous. I'm still praying for a miracle to get our referral call before race day. What a blessing THAT would be to have a pic of the kids that I'm running for. I trust God. He is Sovereign. I want His will for our family. And for our kids that we'll be adopting. I'm eager. I'm hopeful.

So, you're probably wondering what's up with the red laces... yes, those ARE my running shoes. Looks like a need a new pair. But, I have some super hip red laces thanks to my good friend, Jackie Gomez (fellow adoptive mom that I've become very close to during this adoptive process). The proceeds from the laces go to fight AIDS in Africa. LOVE this. I'll be wearing my red laces with pride!

I'm running a half marathon on Sunday. Did I mention that? I'm repeating myself. Nervous habit. Would soo appreciate your prayers.

first real day of spring!

2011-04-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

We went from 40 degree, rainy and doggone cold, to 85 degrees and sunny.

To say that we were in shock would be an understatement.

We spent the day outside. Enjoying the amazing weather!

We are soo thankful to have the warm weather upon us! Just as spring brings sunshine, new buds on the trees, and new life, we're expecting great things for our family!

my 40 year journey to faith...

2011-04-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

For context, I'm a control freak. I like things to be, let's just say, a certain way.(I know, I'm probably the only person you know that is like this...)

That fact makes this post even more challenging. I guarantee you that I have erased and rewritten this post at least a dozen times. And it still won't be perfect.

Oh, and let's add to that fact by saying, I also don't like failing or losing. Check that...I hate failing or losing.

There you go. Context.

My life has been filled with opportunity after opportunity to flex my faith muscles and show how awesome I am at believing what is so unbelievable. And time and time again, I struggle to hold on to that elusive thing called faith. And it certainly doesn't help that I like controlling things...a lot of things.

But a few years ago when I discovered charity: water and was captured by Scott Harrison and his desire to provide clean drinking water to those who need it most, I wanted to be part of the game. I wanted to help him win. An opportunity to flex...

And when they launched a website that put well building into the hands of everyday people like me, I was stoked. I just needed big enough event to raise funds. I don't skydive. I don't run marathons. I just get keep getting older...

Well, what's bigger than turning 40?

But here's the thing. I'm insanely nervous about all this. It costs, on average, about $5,000 to build a well in a developing nation. Um, yes...$5,000.

Why so nervous? Because I don't think I'll reach the goal. I won't win...but that's the thing. This isn't about me.

My journey to faith has taught me a lot of things. But one of the most important things that it has taught me is that control is a selfish illusion. It's revealed more about my lack of faith than my trust in it. So this is my leap. This is my step into the Jordan.

The story of charity: water - The 2009 September Campaign Trailer from charity: water on Vimeo.

I can't do this alone. I need help. They need help.

So ultimately this post is about faith. Something I often lose my grip on. It is in times like this where control leaves my hands and gets placed squarely into His.

All they need is water...just clean water. Be His hands and feet. Please give.

http://mycharitywater.org/jseevers40

ramblings of my heart...

2011-03-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that I'm training for a half marathon. The count down continues as the race is 4 short weeks away! Jeff and I thought it would be a great idea to use this as a fundraiser for our adoption. Thanks to a very generous person who offered to do a matching grant up to $1,000, many of you wanted to get involved and help support us! The total that we've raised to date is $1,426... with the matching grant, that makes it $2, 426. We feel humbled and oh so blessed by all of you that participated!

Of course, you can still donate to our adoption here as we are still raising funds for when we travel. We're getting closer though... only about $5,000 short of being fully funded!

We are still hopeful that we will be matched with our child before the 1/2 marathon. This is what we are praying for... believing for. I was reading in Romans 4 today about the faith of Abraham. in verse 18 it says, Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. Over the last couple of weeks, with the news coming out of Ethiopia about reducing the adoptions, etc. there was definitely reason to stop hoping... and yet, God calls us to hope, even when all seems lost.

And then in verse 19 it says, And Abraham’s faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was as good as dead—and so was Sarah’s womb.
He had every reason to rationalize that clearly God didn't REALLY say that he'd be the father of many nations, did He?

It goes on to say in verse 20, Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. I LOVE this! His Faith brought God GLORY! That is awesome.

What a testimony Abraham had... it then says in verse 21, He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises.

And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous.

And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

I am always amazed as I read these verses. It really IS very simple. Our purpose for being on this earth is to bring glory to God. Period. We bring glory to Him, by loving Him, loving others, and having faith.

This journey of adoption definitely isn't easy, but Jesus didn't say life would be easy. And just when I think life is hard... when I think waiting for our referral, waiting to travel and meeting our little one/ones, waiting to bring them home etc, that's when I remember... how much harder it must be for our little one/ones. What difficulties must their young lives already have included? What hardships have they endured?

I come undone. I'm ashamed at my impatience, my pettiness, my selfishness.

I am being refined. Although it's not easy, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than where the Lord has me today.

I'm going to keep trusting, keep hoping. I want to bring God glory with my life. And although I fail miserably day after day, I'm so thankful for His forgiveness and new mercies each day.

I think I may post the Scriptures found in Romans 4 on my forehead so that I don't forget.

Jeff and I are soo eager to see whom the Lord has already handpicked for our family... before the beginning of time.

And I choose today to have faith in His promises!

where we are...

2011-03-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

After all of the news swirling around last week regarding Ethiopia and MOWA (Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs), we've been pretty quiet on the home front. Honestly, we've been processing, praying and waiting on God.

If you're unaware of what's been happening, here's a quick recap: VOA News ran an article on March 4th that said "Ethiopia is cutting back by as much as 90 percent the number of inter-country adoptions it will allow, as part of an effort to clean up a system rife with fraud and corruption".

Basically what followed was confirmation from our agency and a week of major concern, praying, fasting and questioning how this was going to affect us.

MOWA basically holds the power to write their approval of a family adopting a child from Ethiopia. Without this approval, said family will not pass court. This process of going to court, and failing can go on for months... and this was all happening before the 90% decrease was outlined.

On Friday, we received another email from our agency... a bit more encouraging, which said,

"As noted by NCFA we are also excited to highlight the positive reports we are hearing regarding meetings in Ethiopia this week and are hopeful they will result in the continuance of a higher number of favorable recommendation letters being written by MOWA for families in the court process. We know God can move mightily and are continuing to trust His hand over the Ethiopian adoption process and your family’s process as well. As an additional note of praise, we received favorable recommendation letters from MOWA today for 4 families currently in Ethiopia resulting in them successfully passing court today.

During this season we would ask for your continued prayers and will be joining your family in this. We will continue to inform your family of any new confirmed information we receive."

Jeff and I are greatly concerned about the children in Ethiopia and being sure that the child that we adopt truly IS an orphan. We definitely want the "powers that be" to do all that they can do reduce the amount of corruption going on. However, as a fellow adoptive parent (Jason Kovacs) said the other day, "To say int'l adoption leads to human trafficking & should be stopped is like saying marriage leads to spousal abuse & should be ended".

We also feel strongly that adoption isn't the only thing that we need to be doing. We firmly believe that the best case scenario for a child is to live with his/her birth parents. When this isn't possible due to disease, death or lack of basic needs, the next best scenario would be for that child to live in country with a loving relative. Many times this isn't an option in a land where disease and starvation are rampant. We feel very strongly that God has led us down this adoption path, and He's not going to leave us here.

God is doing some amazing things in Jeff and I. We aren't sure where all of this will lead, but we're pretty sure it's not going to end with one adoption. We want to do what we can to actually make a difference in a community in Ethiopia. Stay tuned for that.

So where does this leave us? We're trusting in God re: the issues in ET and the slowdown. We're confident that God's promises are true and that His Word NEVER returns void. He soo greatly cares for the orphans and widows... and He is Sovereign.

Our agency hasn't given us any idea what this may mean as far as waiting time, however we've felt led to change our age range requested, opening it up a bit. This will hopefully reduce our wait time, as there are soo many non infants already waiting in the orphanages for a home. So...our new age request is 0-24 months for a single child, 0-4yrs. for a sibling group.

Please continue praying for us as we venture forward on this great journey that the Lord is leading us on!

capturing the moment...

2011-03-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

We like to take photos in our family...

...a lot.

So when L-Bobber wanted to try his hand at it the other day, we gave him an old, very large, outdated digital point and click camera. He had a ball with it!

But our 7 yr. old, C-Bear had even more fun taking pics of him.

I'm so thankful for the memories that we are making with these awesome kids that God's blessed us with.

As we wait... and wait... and wait to hear what's happening in Ethiopia, we are soooo thankful for the amazing moments to enjoy our kids and make the most of every opportunity.

what the poor taught me yesterday...

2011-03-01T10:13:00.000-08:00

I say that I'm blessed all the time, but do I really understand what it means? When I compare myself to the entire population of the world, I have more than some will ever have in their entire lifetime. I think most of us would fall into the top 10% of the entire world. Making us the the richest in the world. It's a very humbling thought.

Although we give financially to a number of ministries, this year I've been convicted to go to the places where people are hurting and give of my time. Not that giving money is a bad thing, but I need to be His hands and feet.

So, yesterday I volunteered at a local food kitchen.

I'll admit it has been a long time since I've stepped foot into a place like this. Honestly, I was excited. I wanted to help.

Please realize that my thoughts are raw and I realize that some of them will feel disjointed. Please forgive me. I won't bore you with all the details of the experience other than to say I learned some very valuable lessons. Here is one that stood out;

Food and water are a start, but they are not enough: I realized at the end of our time at the kitchen, that I had done nothing. Okay, I know, I helped feed the needy. But as I watched them eat, I realized the food was not changing their circumstance. Some were still hurt and in need of more. One young man was sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. You could tell he was processing something, but he lacked any facial expression that would lead you to believe he was sad, happy, upset or anything. Then there was a lady. A sweet lady with a bright beautiful smile, that despite her circumstance, proceeded to hand me an envelop titled "A Great love letter From The Almighty God In Jesus' Name". She seemed to have a joy and a hope about her. Two different people, with two different outlooks. One needing a connection and the other wanting one.

I found myself wanting to stay and talk with them. Make that connection. I didn't. I had to return to work.

I've determined that even in my desire to help I was being a little selfish. Sure I had the best intentions in giving of my time. But as Tom Davis shared at the Idea Camp this past weekend, true compassion makes you vulnerable. It makes you hurt. We give...but do we give until it hurts? I'm not just talking financially. I'm talking emotionally. Are we willing to pour our lives into someone even when it makes us hurt? I think it was Brene Brown that said, "we are made for connection". We all long to be connected.

Every. Single. One of us.

After yesterday, I feel like I missed the mark. But now, I'd like to ask myself this question...

Am I willing to be that connection, to that someone, who needs one?

chariots of fire...

2011-02-20T18:23:00.000-08:00

Update!!! Just got word that a very generous donor is going to do a matching grant up to $1,000, making it $2,000 for this event!! If you'd like to help us out, scroll down for instructions on donating!!

Blessings!

How many of you remember this movie? Some of our "younger" friends may not, but it's incredible.

It's a true story about two athletes in the 1924 Olympics: Eric Liddell, a devout Scottish Christian who is running for the glory of God, and Harold Abrahams, an English Jew who is running to overcome prejudice.

I mentioned last week that I'm running a half marathon. It's interesting to me that this this movie tells the story of these two men who are running for the "glory of God" and to "overcome prejudice". I believe that there is definitely prejudice within the Christian community towards adoption. I'm not exactly sure why, as it's a command straight from the Bible over and over again to "care for the poor and needy, the orphans and widows in distress".

I believe that it's the church that should be stepping up, and clearly the church isn't doing a very good job of it (however momentum is building). My hope is that though our adoption will save only 1 or 2 children from a life of extreme poverty, a lack of the most basic needs, most likely not learning of a loving Savior, or the love of a mom and dad, that through our adoption others will be moved to consider adoption or at the very least be moved to help financially someone else who is adopting. Adoption is part of the great commission, in my humble opinion. And as Christians, we need to step up to the plate.

Already the training has been very difficult, but I realize that there are two things that I will be running in front of. The thought of our child(ren), and the audience of One that has led me to this place.

Apparently, I'm an achiever (according to my husband). When I set out to do something, I do it with all that I am. When I first thought about this half-marathon, I thought it would be a great fundraiser. But as I've trained for this run, I've had to put my trust in The Lord that I'll be able to 1. run it fully and 2. do it without stopping. It's not easy to train when you have to run it on a treadmill due to snow, ice and freezing weather outdoors. I would appreciate a lot of prayer as I train these next 8 weeks... for strength, endurance and the will power to finish the race.

Also, I've been feeling convicted that I should be believing/ trusting that we will have our referral (our picture of our child/children) before I run the race. At this point, it seems like it might take a small miracle for that to happen, as referrals have been few and far between the last few months...but, if I can't believe God for this, where is my faith? It doesn't mean that He will answer this prayer to my liking, but He tells us that the we must have faith in order to please Him. If you could be praying with me for that as well, I'd soo appreciate it.

So now the details.

Half marathon = 13.1 miles.

Yep. You read that right. One. Three. Point one. Lidell ran 400 meters. That's a quarter of a mile.

We're fundraising for each mile that I run. Would you be willing to donate a dollar or two (or five!) per mile?

The run is April 17th. Please click on the "Chip In" button at the upper right of this page. ChipIn will allow you to make a donation via PayPal.

If you live in the area and want to come and support me at the finish line, I would LOVE that!! Thanks for the prayers and the financial support that this will provide in bringing our kids home.

one blessed mama!

2011-02-18T13:04:00.000-08:00

yesterday was my birthday. I am now 30 years old. ahem. I mean I'm 30 again.

I have THE best husband in the world. I'm sure that I've mentioned this before, but seriously, he is. I love how he and our kids did very meaningful gifts this year, as we are scrimping and saving to bring our baby home from Africa. Even in spite of this, I didn't in the slightest feel that I was lacking on my birthday.

It started out with flowers and cards...

from Jonah

from Claire

from Maddie

In case you can't see the front of Maddie's card, let me read it for you... The Mom Book by Maddie Seevers. Now the kicker was what this "book" said. Each page had a drawn picture of she and I corresponding to the words. It said, " You feed me as a baby, you helped me learn to walk, you took me to school, you were at all of my birthdays, you were there with me when I got my braces, you love me. Dear Mom, I am so happy that you are my mom. Happy Birthday! I love you! Love Maddie.

Let's just say I was pretty much a bucket of tears.

...and it didn't stop there. Jeff made me a large sign that said I'm a fantastic mom, but in Ahmaric (the language spoken in our baby's birth country). How cool is that??!!

...and thanks to a birthday gift from a family member, we were able to go out to a favorite restaurant... on a date... without kids. Such a treat.

Today is our son, Lincoln's 2nd birthday. Yep. He was born the day after my birthday. He IS the best birthday gift ever!

We celebrated this morning with our annual breakfast-in-bed routine...

let's just say Elmo's a favorite!

Celebrating life is such a beautiful thing! I feel so blessed to have such an awesome family to celebrate! I'm hopeful that our baby will be home with us soon, and that we'll be able to start celebrating him/ her as well.

Love all around.

2011-02-18T12:13:00.000-08:00

I am way overdue for a blog update. Life around here has been busy this week. With both Valentine's Day, my birthday and our son Lincoln's birthday, we've had little time to sit and blog. But I've wanted to.

Blogging is soo therapeutic! Many of you understand, as you have your own blogs, in which to put down your thoughts and emotions.

In light of that, I thought I'd give you a sneak peak into our crazy life.

This is our kids on Valentine's Eve... "what?", you say. "Valentine's Eve?" I know, it seems pretty silly. But they were soo excited about Valentine's Day. They couldn't wait for the next day to make heart shaped cookies...

... to sit down to a nice dinner...

...and then to decorate said cookies....

We had a great time expressing love to our children with cards, little gifts and lots of snuggling. We also took time to read 1 Corinthians 13 and explained what true love is...being patient and kind, not being jealous or keeping a record of wrong... We talked about God's unconditional love for us, and how we can show that same kind of love to others.

We talked about how we all already have such a mighty big spot in our hearts to love our baby from Africa, that we have yet to meet.

I hope that you had an opportunity to spend time with your loved ones on Valentine's Day and share love with them. But more importantly, I hope that you know the love of the Savior, that trumps all other love. May you feel engulfed in His love today.

the same song sheet...

2011-02-08T19:07:00.000-08:00

Please watch this video before you read on...

Do you know what fascinates me about this video?

First of all, none of these individuals are in the same place. They are all singing their respective parts alone. With no one else.

Secondly, they seem to be singing with as much purpose and passion as if they were in a real choir with a large audience watching them.

And the kicker? They are all singing off the same song sheet.

When all the parts are stitched together, it makes the most amazing sound.

KT and I discovered pretty quickly after we began this journey of adoption, that the song sheet we were singing off of, was different than any other we'd sung off before.

However, what we've discovered since, is that there are a multitude of people who are singing off the same song sheet. They are other adoptive parents and supporters, who, when you step back and look...

...are making some pretty incredible music.

Let's all sing a little louder.

stalling no more.

2011-02-06T11:51:00.000-08:00

I know that I put out a small teaser on facebook regarding our next fundraiser. I also realize that I've been stalling to fill you all in on the details. Why? Because I'm a bit terrified about it.

You're probably dying to know what exactly this fundraiser is that's got me tied in knots, right?

I realize why I've been stalling... If I don't put it out there, then I don't really have to do it. I can just take the "let's wait and see" approach.

Well, no longer. It's happening. I'm doing it.

We have an annual half marathon here in Toledo, The Glass City Half Marathon, in April. And well... ahem... I've agreed to run it and use it as a fundraiser to collect donations from sponsors so that we can collect the much needed funding to bring our sweet baby home from Ethiopia.

For those of you that haven't known me long, I have to explain. I actually did run a half (3.5 years ago) and it was AWESOME! I trained well. I was in great shape. It was a great run! I have however had another baby since then... and well, I'm 3.5 years older. ha! Let's just say... ahem, I'm not as fit as I was then. It's not as easy to bounce back from baby #4, as it was with #1,2 and 3.

I'm probably making excuses.... keeping the expectations low, so that if I don't do well, or am not able to finish (God forbid), I have an out. Nice technique, I know. Not very courageous.

All that being said, I would run 100 races if it meant bringing my baby home. So it begins... the long and painful journey of training.

In case you don't know how far a half marathon is, let me enlighten you... It's 13.1 miles. Yes, you read that right... 13.1! and don't you dare leave off that .1 mile. That's the hardest portion of the race.

Before Christmas, I was actually running 7 miles a few days a week, and then doing some cross training on the opposite days. Pretty good, I thought. sigh. Then the holidays hit. Lots of yummy food. Not as much time to workout, and train. double sigh. I was back to running 3.5. sigh.

In January, I was back up to 6 miles. Yeah. Then another week trip to my sister's. sigh. A whole week without running. It's like starting from square one all over again.

So here I am. It's February 6th. The race is April 17th. That gives me exactly 10 weeks of training. I can do this. And you, my blog readers will help to spur me on... because I know that you'll be watching to see if I follow through with this.

I'm sure that you're wondering if you can help... you CAN help me with this crazy fundraiser. First off, please pray for me as I train. Pray for strength and determination to do this. Also pray that we are able to get some great sponsors for this event. You will have an opportunity to sponsor me, as well, as soon as I get those details ironed out! I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Thanks for letting me talk this through. It's going to be great! Whatever it takes to bring our baby home.

Gotta go check out some training options...

no more silence...

2011-01-29T11:43:00.000-08:00

It's been quite some time since I've put out a blog post. I've been quiet for too long. For those of you who know me, you know that this is not in my make-up to be quiet... even for 5 minutes, let alone a week! But the time has come for me to once again speak my mind:)

Until this week, things have been moving very slowly at our agency. We've all been waiting with baited breath for a few referrals to come through, for families to pass court successfully, and for those waiting for their Embassy dates, to pass with flying colors.

It's been a difficult couple of months as only a handful of families have received their referrals (pictures and info on their child). I don't know why, but I just grew silent during this time. Obviously being a mom to 4 kids and homeschooling, might have played a role in my absence. But I wouldn't be completely honest with you if I didn't say that the silence at our agency has been deafening. I've been trying to remain positive and hopeful through this whole process. Unfortunately, it's easier said than done.

This journey has been teaching us some amazing things about trusting in our Savior, the Maker of the Universe. Seriously, I don't know why I even question His faithfulness. He's shown it time and time again. So each day I rise asking The Lord to fill my heart with a new song. I ask Him to help me to be faithful to Him. I tell Him that I want to honor Him with my life. And I do really well... for about 5 minutes. lol. Good thing that He's a forgiving God!

His faithfulness was seen this week as not 1 or 2, but 5 families received their referrals!! Two of these babies were 4 months, and 4.5 months old respectively! Another baby boy was only a teeny weeny 7 weeks old! My excitement for these families was overflowing to the point that it almost felt like WE received our referral. God is soo faithful! As always, I'm eager to see who He has handpicked for our family, yet I'm at peace knowing that it will be in His perfect time, in His perfect way.

voted off the island.

2011-01-25T10:50:00.000-08:00

If you don't blog, you should. It's very cathartic.

I just had to share that I think I've been voted off the island.

The island of "someone else will do it."
The island of "I don't have the money."
The island of "I'm comfortable."
The island of "what will they think?"
The island of "what about my retirement fund?"
The island of "I'm scared."
The island of "how are you gonna pay for college?"
The island of "I'm numb."
The island of "I can't do that."
The island of [fill in the blank]

What island are you being voted off?

let it snow!

2011-01-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

You're probably wondering what we do to keep the winter blues away, right? We need something to keep us occupied as we wait (patiently) for our referral of our precious child/children. So, what do we do?

We go sledding!
Several inches of snow fell on our very soggy, grassy ground yesterday, so we felt it was important to take advantage of it!

We were out the door and on our way to the hill by 9:30am. It always amazes me how long it takes just to get out the door... I think we spend more time preparing than we actually spend sledding!

of course we had a blast...

... well, most of us did.

I hope that you are also enjoying the winter weather... enjoying the many blessings that The Lord has given to us. And looking forward, hopeful for the future He has intended for us. I am reminded of one of my favorite verses in the Bible:

James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

smiling for Him

2011-01-07T13:49:00.000-08:00

Claire and I were at her piano lesson the other day, and at the end of the lesson her teacher asked her why she's always smiling. "In fact", she said, "everyone in your family smiles. All the time. Even your baby brother... Why is that?"

Claire of course just smiled. But her teacher asked again, "really, why is is that you all are smiling?" I encouraged Claire to share with her why it is that we do indeed smile.

*A little disclaimer. We aren't ALWAYS smiling. We do have our off moments, hours, and sometimes days. We wouldn't be normal if we didn't.

Now, I have no idea where this sweet teacher's heart is. I don't know if she knows the Lord. I don't know what she believes. But I was excited to answer her question.

It was if she was begging us for an answer. It reminded me of the verse that I had learned long ago...

1 Peter 3:15 NIV But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.

My sweet 7 year old was a bit timid to respond, although I know that she knew the answer to the question, and she knew what I was hoping she'd say in response to the question. I didn't want to put her on the spot, so I answered for her. "Well," I said, "It's because we have Jesus in our hearts!" What a great moment. Mrs. H didn't jump up and ask if she could know that same joy, but she did listen. And I'm quite certain that a seed was planted. It was so cool to be a part of that. I love it when we are used by Jesus to share His good news with others! I WANT to be a testimony for Him. He knows that many days I fail... big time. And yet, He's patient with me and gives me another chance, again and again to shine for Him.

We have soo much to smile about. So much to be thankful for.

May that seed that was planted take root and grow. My prayer is that He would send workers into the fields to reap the harvest that has been planted.

May we keep smiling for Jesus!

a new beginning

2011-01-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

So I had every intention of posting this next post on New Year's Eve, but clearly THAT didn't happen.

I know that we've been absent for over a week from blogging. It's not that we haven't wanted to, it's just that we've been super busy with lots of family in town. Which of course included lots of Christmas celebrations, awesome food, and great conversation. Please excuse our delay and excuse the fact that this may seem like old news since I wrote it 3 days ago:)

Happy New Year! It's hard to believe that it's New Year's Eve 2010. Where did this year go? Our kids are all a little bit older, a little bit taller and hopefully a little bit wiser.

In looking back at 2010, I can definitely say it's been a year of great change for us. Our adoption journey really began in January of 2010 as Haiti was devastated by a horrific earthquake. That was the event that really pushed us into action to start on this amazing adoption journey. After taking a few months to look at the financial aspects, as well as dutifully researching all kinds of different agencies, we finally landed on our awesome agency, America World (It wouldn't be right if I didn't put a little plug in for them).

I have been amazed at God's incredible faithfulness to us through this whole process. The financial aspect alone looked almost insurmountable, yet we have had the funds that we need at each designated time that it was needed.

We were able to send our dossier to Ethiopia on November 19th, a day that will live in infamy... at least for us! Now we wait...

We've been told that our wait could be anywhere from 4-6 months, at which point we'll receive a picture of our little baby/babies.

But then we will wait again for our court date (a couple of months). We'll then travel to ET, meet our little one/ones and pass court.

Then it will be another wait... we have to leave our child/children there! ( I can't imagine how hard this will be), come home for another period of time (a couple of months), travel back to pick them up and FINALLY come home to our family.

I've heard from soo many other adopting mamas how very difficult this road of adoption can be. In fact it's been said, "Adoption is not for the faint of heart". And yet, God never said that life would be easy. The truth is that if it WAS easy, I'd probably not learn anything along the road.

I'm so thankful that The Lord placed this great longing on our hearts to step out of our comfortable American lives, and do something to "help the least of the these".

We are eager to ring in 2011 as we continue to plan and prepare to bring more kiddos into our family. To say that we are excited would be such an understatement. God is doing some amazing things in Jeff and I, and I'm soo thrilled to be a part of it.

Tonight before the "ball drops" in New York City at midnight, we will sit down with our kids and have them write out their goals (both personal and spiritual) for this next year, as is tradition in our family. We also have the kids write out what they think they'll be doing in 10 years. It's soo fun to save these and pull them out 10 years later to see what funny things they wrote. I know this first hand, as we did this as kids in my family growing up.

After the kids are in bed, Jeff and I will sit down and write our goals, both personal and more importantly our spiritual goals for the year. I'm amazed at how our shift has really changed from more selfish endeavors and dreams to more eternal goals.

I think I really am beginning to understand the verse found in Matthew 6:20-21

20 Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars.21 It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

Of course, we have a long road ahead of us, but I'm trusting in my Savior who put this desire in our hearts. I know that He does have great plans for us!

May you and yours have a healthy and happy New Year!

a balancing act

2010-12-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

BLOG POST WARNING: Honesty ahead.

You may have seen this short video from Skip1.

Skip1 PSA "Restaurant" [Francis & Lisa Chan Version] from Skip1 on Vimeo.

With Christmas in full effect, it has honestly been tough for me not to think about everything I buy in light of someone who is in greater need than I am. We are blessed with so very much. A house, cars, food, clothes, and even clean drinking water.

I often wonder how I got to be the one placed into the life I'm in. How am I not the one in Africa, struggling to survive, without clean water?

I'm not sure I will ever know the answer. What I do know is that I'm saved by grace and that His love abounds. But it only abounds through His people. So I'll continue to give in proportion to what I've been given. And then I'll give a little more. I'll do my best to hang on to the truth found in these words;

http://bible.us/Luke6.38.MSG

Don't just think about Jesus this Christmas, that would be way too easy...consider ways you can give away your life. To your children, to your neighbors, or to families around the world.

Although I struggle with the tension of having and giving, I know that it is by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ that we can find joy in being blessed, but also in blessing others.

Merry Christmas!

hope arrives...

2010-12-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

It only takes one to step up and make a difference. All of those "ones" turn into many, and those many turn into a multitude...

So glad someone stepped up for Ephram. Will you?

Ephrem from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

Read the entire story about Ephram here.

Lifesong for Orphans

a day of celebration

2010-12-12T07:18:00.000-08:00

Ten years ago today, our precious son, JB was born. Here are just some of the many things that he has brought our family...

Happiness...

smiles...

curiosity...

a funny bone...

and pure joy. Happy Birthday JB!

dare you...

2010-12-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

...to watch/listen to this.

Thank you to Chris & Jennifer Verme for sharing.

all i want for Christmas...

2010-12-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

can you take a guess as to what my kids want for Christmas this year?

hmmm... what about now?

finding God...

2010-11-27T16:26:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday, K-Love radio partnered with World Vision to provide Thanksgiving to those in West Africa who are in the midst of a horrendous drought, which is causing a massive famine. The people are starving to death. I am sickened at the thought.

My heart was breaking into pieces as I listened to the stories of babies, 6 months old, who only weigh 3.5 pounds.

Where is God in all of this?

I was struck by it that night as Jeff and I headed out for a much needed date to grab coffee and dessert at a restaurant here in town. I was just getting off the phone with World Vision, as I walked past a table with a group of people enjoying their dinner. Nothing wrong with that. I was just struck by the irony of these children starving to death as a man took a big juicy bite of his steak. It literally hit me in the gut. I began to cry, right there in that restaurant on our date night.

Though our baby that we are adopting is not in West Africa, he/she does live in a country where starvation is a very big issue. I pray every night that The Lord will provide for these children who not only desperately need food and shelter, but also a loving home where they can learn about the saving grace of a loving Savior.

On this journey that we are on, I'm slowly learning where to find God amidst all of this pain and suffering. I'm trying to find the right balance of it all. And where we fit into this picture.

It's humbling, to say the least.

We have so much to be thankful for this year. I'm taking the opportunity to hug my kids a little tighter and thank my Father in heaven, from whom all blessings flow.

If you would like to give to the people of West Africa, please visit World Vision's website here.

Psalm 82:4 Rescue the weak and needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

so much to be thankful for...

2010-11-24T05:38:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is only 2 days away. I love Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite holidays. It's a time of year that I reflect on all of the many things that I'm thankful for. My salvation. My amazing husband. 4 amazing children. An opportunity to be a mommy, yet again. Food to eat. Clothes to wear. Warmth. Love. My freedom. The ability to homeschool my kids. Although these are just a few of the many things that I've been blessed with, they are definitely the highlights.

One of our annual traditions, as of late is a homeschooling turkey feast. This is our 4th year doing it. We've had it at our house the last 2 years, and I have to say that I thoroughly enjoy the uzjah. (what's uzjah, you ask? It's a Syrian term that means "chaos, confusion, craziness" my grandfather taught that word to me, as he was Syrian. Sometimes there's just no other term that will suffice)

Anyway, our Turkey Feast took place last Monday, and we had a splendid time. There were 27 kids, and 10 moms in attendance.

As you can see, we had some pretty amazing Indians and Pilgrims in attendance that day.

We had some amazing traditional Thanksgiving dishes... turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potato casserole, mandarin orange salad, cranberry jello salad, pumpkin pie, you know, the usual.

There were some really great crafts.

And the kids had an opportunity to share something with all of us... whether it was a piano piece, a poem, an art piece, a song. It's was great opportunity for the kids to practice their public speaking/performing skills.

We read books about the first Thanksgiving and how grateful we are for the very first pilgrims making that amazing journey to America. And how thankful we are for God's faithfulness to provide for the pilgrims through that first year. So many of them died. Yet some survived. And with the help of a few amazing Indians, they were able to flourish.

(P.S. Thanks to all of my amazing friends that let me take pictures of their adorable kids, as well as my kiddos, to share.)

three simple letters...

2010-11-18T18:19:00.000-08:00

(JS/KS) There are so many 3 letter acronyms.

MIA (missing in action)
TMI (too much information)
LOL (laugh out loud)
PDA (public display of affection)
BFF (best friend forever)
FYI (for your information)
and of course the infamous...PMS (do I really need to type it?).

These letters they each hold a different meaning, context, relate to different things, groups and information.

We've learned a new 3-letter acronym that holds special meaning to us now...DTE.

Before this journey, I would've asked the same question some of our friends have asked. "What in the world is DTE?" These incredibly simple letters indicate an extra special commitment we've made to a child/children half-way across the globe. Our "Dossier" is en route "To Ethiopia". You can be sure that we'll be tracking it as it makes it's way across the United States, over the Atlantic ocean, past Europe and find it's home in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. It also indicates that the lion's share of paperwork required for our international adoption has been completed. A huge burden has been lifted from our shoulders. Although an immediate burden has been lifted, we feel a bit like Neil Armstrong must have as he stepped on the moon, and said these infamous words, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind". Although he spoke with such calm conviction, I can only imagine feeling the immense weight of what he was doing...

We are told that our wait is 4-6 months. At the end of this wait, we'll receive our referral which will include a picture of our baby/babies, as well as their medical history, age etc. To think that we'll have a picture of our baby in such a short time is surreal. We are eager. We're excited. We are hopeful.

Our hope, of course, is in our Lord. Who from the beginning of time knew exactly which children (both bio and adopted) would be ours... and at what perfect time they would join our family.

Now we wait.

Psalm 27:14 NIV

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

we're pregnant!

2010-11-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, not literally. But, after 6 months/8 days, our dossier is on it's way to our agency, AWAA, for one last look before they send it off to Ethiopia next Friday.

We received our I171-H today at 5pm. (The last bit of paperwork needed to finish the "paper pregnancy") and by 5:30 our dossier was on it's way... I don't waste any time:)

I had to get a few shots of us at the Fed Ex office. Thankfully the sweet girl behind the counter was willing to take our pictures and deal with my obsessive/compulsive behavior regarding the dossier. I think I had a somewhat visible stamp across my forehead that read, " Don't mess with me! These papers are bringing our baby home!"

The countdown has begun for our referral for our baby/babies. We are super thrilled, beyond words!

On one hand, it's hard to believe that we will be looking at a picture of our baby in 4-6 months. On the other hand, it feels like we've been waiting forever.

One thing that the Lord has been teaching me on this journey is to trust in Him. To have faith. To be patient. These are muscles that I'm having to work out EVERY day. I would not want to be in any other space than where He has me right now.

One of my favorite scriptures is, Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

My hope is that I will become successful in having all 3 of these attributes throughout the whole process of our adoption.

So, it's official. Because of where we're at in this process, I feel like we can now officially say that we're pregnant. We're coming baby!

God still does miracles...

2010-11-09T18:38:00.000-08:00

Not sure how many of you have heard of MckMama if you haven't you've got to check her out! Not only is she an amazing photographer, but she's got quite a story to tell...
I could never do justice to all that they've been through (you'll have to read it on her blog, in detail) but 1 year ago today, her baby boy, Stellan flatlined, and then was brought back to life. He had a very dangerous heart condition that was being completely stubborn to treatment. At the last possible moment, as a last ditch effort his cardiologists made one more attempt to right the wrong in his sweet little heart. Their techniques were sure to fail, but they had to try. Amazingly, only by the grace of God, whatever they did worked. And it was a permanent fix. He is now completely free of all heart problems. This truly is a modern day miracle. I have no doubt in my mind. Jennifer McKinney, aka MckMama has given God all the glory! Amazing. I've been reading her blog for a couple of years now, and I wanted to share with you her incredible story of hope, triumph and miracles.

rebirthday from Jennifer McKinney on Vimeo.

I believe our God is the great healer. He is the God of miracles. He is powerful and mighty. He is righteous and Holy. And I am humbled to know that I am one of His children.

I'm trusting in Him that as we move forward into unchartered territory with our adoption, that He will place the right child/children into our home and just the right time. He's been breaking our hearts for the things that break His. I'm excited to see what He has in store for our future. This is just the beginning.

After all, it's all about Him. I'm just along for the ride.

Blessings, Jennifer! and WAY TO GO, God!! Happy Rebirthday, sweet Stellan. God must have some AMAZING things in store for you, sweet boy!

orphan sunday & national adoption month...

2010-11-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest and say that I had never heard of "Orphan Sunday" or "National Adoption Month", until we started our own journey of adoption. I'll also start by saying that I believe these are awesome initiatives, and that awareness is a critical step in making any significant effort in finding homes for the millions of children across the globe who are orphans.

Please forgive the triteness of this next statement, but the phrases themselves, don't conjure up images that are truly reflective of the issues that lie at the core of these initiatives. Nothing about these efforts bring a smile to my face. They bring tears.

These are life and death issues people. Children are dying. Others that do survive orphanages are often forced to leave and end up being trafficked for sex. (Please support these organizations that are doing something about it...A21 and Hopechest)

I shutter at the thought that these very words have escaped my lips...

"Man, I had such a hard day."
"Holy cow, I'm starving.

These words hold different meanings to me now.

My days will never be so hard that they compare to the young girls who are forced into having sex just to survive. And starvation? It is real. And real people are dying because of it. My stomach will never be so empty that I will feel real starvation.

Whether or not you or your church is observing "Orphan Sunday", or "National Adoption Month", please reflect on these very real issues. And please, answer the following question.

If no one stands in the gap for these children. Who will?

Our friends Chris and Jennifer Verme (who are also on the journey to adopt) wrote an incredible blog post that I pulled this video from. Please watch this and consider the question above.

"It Began with Bale" from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.